Journey into Holy Week

After three months of attending an Anglican church, I have began reflecting on so much more then I ever thought was possible. I've often reflected on how I now recognize how I don't need fancy music or fancy lights, or big "shows" and big emotions in order to worship. It's not that I ever thought these things were negative things, and for many people it is important. But then I began asking myself what would happen if I took all those things away? Would I still worship God in the same way? Would I still be genuine in my servant hood? And would I still want to continue to seek and to serve?

This was a whole new level of my journey.

This took me to a whole new place.

This journey took me to a whole new spiritual life.

Today I sat for Palm Sunday and as I turned to the back of the church to listen to the gospel being read and for the procession of the branches to begin, I realized that my mind, my heart and my eyes have all been opened to a new spiritual journey. If you would have asked me a few months ago when the last day of lent was and what was the beginning and then again what was the significance, there was no way I could have expressed it. Then comes Holy Week which I am sure I never thought about before these past couple of months.

In the past few weeks the church has been preparing for Holy Week which in the Christian church should really be considered the height of our belief, but yet, here I was. After growing up and experiencing the Christian church for so many years I have never once experienced Holy week to this degree...and I certainly never called it Holy Week.

I reflected on Palm Sunday's in my past and as I did I thought about one particular Sunday when I was a child, where the pastor had all the children held branches on the way in, with probably some type of music playing in the background as we so gently waved our palms up and down and everyone watched thinking how cute those little wee children are. Then we laid them down up front and that was the end of it. That's all I remember from Palm Sunday. Today I reflected on that and more. I am thankful for those past moments in my life in which I can carry forward on my journey, but I am expectant of what is to come for this so called Holy Week and many other new experiences.

The beauty of celebrating each night with something different leading up to the climax of the gospel story is astounding to me. Spending Good Friday in three hours worth of service just to commemorate the crucifixion and then celebrating on Easter Sunday in different ways, seems to bring this whole gospel to a whole new level. It brings it to a new type of celebration rather then just another day. And shouldn't that be in fact what it is... A CELEBRATION!

My heart stirs with change. I think being somewhere and experiencing something the same way again and again for some many years causes many people to become complacent and it appears ordinary and the same thing every year. And perhaps I will be more familiar with the holy week activities more so next year, but as for this year, I am moved, I am challenged and I am perplexed as to the effort and the celebration that goes into this.

So...what am I saying? Change...it's not as scary as one may think. Sometimes our faith shifting can bring more revelation and more reflection and more celebration to our faith then we ever thought was possible. This change has created a spark in me. It has caused me to become excited about my faith again. It has challenged me to think differently about who I am in Christ. It has challenged me to think differently about the Easter gospel celebration.

Perhaps you have been in the same place? I was scared of shifting before. But now I realize how this faith shifting has stirred something new in me. Allow God to lead you to new places and on a different journey. It's how we grow and expand.

I know not everyone will feel the same way about their faith. But here I am. I needed to have a shift in order to reevaluate and to cut down the old tree and replant a new one. It grows the same way, it is the same species but it is a little fresher and a little more vibrant. It's a little more thirsty because it wants to grow all over again, maybe even a little stronger and a little wiser this time. 

My #1 Parenting lesson

I'm a family counsellor. I teach people everyday about working on different parenting strategies and how to deal with behavior difficulties and challenges. I work with the families in hopes that they will reach a much more peaceful environment in their home.  I work with children individually in my office on a daily basis about working through their feelings, how to manage their big emotions, and what to do instead of acting out. So it seemed natural to me to become a parent right?

Well I've learned a big thing in the past 4 months..there's information overload out there!!!! And some of the text just does not meet your situation. Well what do you do when this happens....? Well my child is so this....? This does not apply to me because we are....??? There are always several blanks to be filled in. Then also that there is a counter thought to everything...some say Time Outs...some say NO time outs! Some say ignore..some say act immediately. It's almost like no one really knows what they are doing and just speculating on everything.

I frequently get asked...."do you have children Amanda?". I try not to get upset by this because I know the information I give people is based on research and results have been proven, but I now see that living out those things in every day life can be hard, and sometimes this whole parenting deal is trial and error. That frightens me to death. How do you know that you are doing the right thing? How do you know that the results of all this hard work are going to pay off?

Honestly, all those things that I teach people on a daily basis about parenting, and all those things I research...I do try to follow through with. I do know that the majority of them work (maybe with some tweaking to your particular situation). But honestly...there will be those days when you forget all about what the textbook tells you because it just doesn't seem to be working.

So if I was to give advice to a newer parent such as myself...I would say just keep trying. Don't ignore the information out there, but don't get down on yourself when you don't follow it to a tee!! There are gonna be days when we make mistakes, and you might have to ask for forgiveness. There are gonna be days when you react rather then respond to a situation. Does that mean your a bad parent??? Dear goodness I hope not, cause if that's the case I'm also a bad therapist and I've just lost all my clientele.

Rest easy knowing that you love your child and that you are trying your best each and every day, and just learn and remember to have fun and embrace the joyous moments. Don't take everything so serious and let loose. Use your inner child to connect with your child. I find it's the best way we can relate to them.

The unending journey

Well as most of you probably are aware, our little girl came home!!! And it's been a miracle ever since. The summer has been crazy with trying to settle her in as well as us trying to adjust to the excitement and the exhaustion of having  two and a half year old in our house. After 6 years of marriage, we understood that our house would feel totally different with a child but nothing like what we have been experiencing.

The past 4 months have flown by and the intensity of what we have been through is unreal. There have been highs and lows. Some of our expectations were met, and then others proved to be a little more difficult then we had anticipated. The initiation into parenthood for us has been a huge exciting ride and I'm sure there will be more to come.

Now after 4 months I sit in front of my laptop not feeling completely exhausted to the point that I can't even imagine thinking. We are in a wonderful routine in our lives and everyone including her appears to have adjusted....it's not that every day doesn't take some prayer, but like I said...apparently (based on what I hear from others) that's what the parent life is like.

I believe Ty and I are going to learn some lessons along the way and I know that every day I feel like we get better at this. So I still want to continue taking you on our journey even if it looks a little bit different then it has been in the past. I suppose that's the ride of life that we are all on.

So...from this point I will attempt to share with you (through likely several blog posts) our little life lessons that I hope may be applicable to you in someway. Today I share with you the biggest lesson that we learned (well I should say that we RE-learned) was that God is bigger then everything and he is constantly in control. The little miracles that we experienced as our little girl journeyed home are unreal. It has been  roller coaster and at times I doubted his strength, but when I saw things come together in ways that no man could control I realized that you know what....there's something so much bigger at work here. There's nothing that can stand in our way when we have people surrounding us in prayer and support. Everything from financial to practical, to paperwork being completed. It would only make sense for me to share with you in person. I know that there were things that I couldn't control, and being a control freak that's a little difficult for me. But here it was, completely surrendered to God, and he took care of us all in ways we could not imagine.

So to all my wonderful readers...whoever you are (Hi Mom!), I'm here to share the evidence of our little miracle that we have been through in the past couple of months, and what better way to do that then show you visually.

As we wait....

In my last post about waiting, it was difficult. It was on of the low points on the roller coaster. After writing that post we have been doing much thinking, and many people have spoken into our lives in a number of ways. First of all we now know for sure that people are praying for us, and it works. Also we have realized that even with all the waiting that is happening, one..we know that it's worth the wait...and two...we are learning and growing from the experience....again.

This morning I stated to my husband of how surreal it will feel when she is home, in our arms and occupying her bedroom, adding life to our house and meeting our families, and friends, and hopefully making some of her own new friends. It simply feels like a dream of something that may or may not come. But with that..we learn. We learn about how grateful each person should be to be able to hold their baby in their arms right away. We learn about how God blesses our lives, and helps us to grow through the waiting. We learn how strong we are. We learn how much we have come through, and how we don't always have things all perfectly together, but how we will work towards that for her. We learn how everything we do right now and have done in the past even will affect us in the future with her. We learn about how there is no need to worry because things aren't in our control.

Both of us continue to recall how we felt almost two years ago when we were praying for a house to live in, and waiting for the call that we could move into our home. We never forget those cold nights in the cabin, and having to go out and gather water every weekend. That season in our lives taught us many things. And sometimes we even miss those quiet peaceful nights in a cabin, or the feeling of accomplishment every time the wood stove lit up and kept us cozy and warm.

So I know we won't forget our experience on this journey. I know we can embrace the waiting as a learning experience. I know that I will be happy to talk to my daughter some day about the benefit of waiting, and how at the end of every waiting period there is something joyous to be given. Like the anticipation we feel before a big vacation, or how we have felt as a child looking at all the sparkly gifts under the tree, the waiting was always worth while and every year that vacation eventually happened and it felt wonderful. And every year Christmas always came around and we created so many memories. You eventually forget the pain, but you never forget the experience of the wait.  Kind of like child birth... so I hear.....

ONCE WAS LOST

So here's something I'm super excited about!!!!!

We have signed up for a non-profit organization called ONCE WAS LOST. It was started by a Christian family from Canada who is also working at adopting their child from the Congo. They have included our story on their website with other families. Here is the link: 

http://waslostblog.tumblr.com/post/47367938566/tyler-and-amandas-adoption-story

You can go to the site via the link on the right hand side -->  and check out their store. Or HERE works too:

http://oncewaslost.storenvy.com/

 By purchasing something from their store and including OUR names in the note to seller box when you are checking out items, we are able to receive 50% of the purchase that you make and put that towards our adoption.  And for every $25 you spend you can feed a hungry child for a week. It's all win win if you ask me! 

There are great products and some free trade products all at reasonable prices! Check it out!!! Here are just a couple of items that they have on their page.

The Waiting game...

I know we are still in the beginning phases but we are moving along but there is more paperwork then I would have ever imagined. But even with all the paperwork and the slight hurdles that we might face along the way of this journey we are already becoming attached to our little girl.

As we wait to hear news and as our friends and family are inquisitive with questions. I wish I could be giving them more. I am awaiting the moment for the phone call that step 2 is done and step 3 is complete. Who knows how many steps there are but  eventually it will be completed. We first started on this journey being told it may only be a couple of months. And now we have been told 3 to 4 months. At that rate we believe and are praying our little girl journey's home by June. It would be a great birthday gift for my 30th birthday :)

But as we wait, we think, we plan, we feel a lot of things but nothing more then that can be done. I suppose it's likely different then when you are waiting on a pregnancy. A friend said to me, even when you are pregnant and waiting, you are still with your little one. Each passing day right now is another moment and another highlight of her life that we are missing. And even though we know where she is, she is being well taken care of and loved very much (which we are very thankful for) we want very much to be part of that as well.

How can we miss something we've never had? I don't know how we do, but we do. And every day is harder, but we will continue to wait, and we will continue to pray. As we wait we prepare. We have begun preparations in her room. We are focusing on raising funds to get her home, and we are doing a ton of reading. We want to do everything right for this little girl. We want to make our house a home for her, and we want to give her everything she needs physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I am thankful for everyone that has already supported us through this journey in so many ways already, and as we continue through the journey, I ask that you try not to forget about us. We are travelling a journey to bring our daughter home, but we are travelling a journey of preparation every day filled with some emotional roller coaster rides and some downright patience. We know it will come, and we know we are on the right path, but it often feels like a dream. One that may only become true if we are lucky.

It is hard to sit and wait. I wonder if I should be doing more of something. But as we wait, and we don't have much news to share with our friends and family, please know that those are the times when we need your prayers the most. Those are the times that Ty and I may be sitting at home in silence just waiting, just anticipating, just wondering what things will be like. Those are the times that I'm finding it difficult not to be on the phone hassling and bothering social workers all the time as they attempt to do their job. Those are the times that I'm preparing and planning for her to be here, but there are still no pattering feet, and still no little cries, and still no hugs and snuggles. We have all this love that we want to be able to give to this little girl and although our love is strong with each other, we want to give more.  It is hard for me to sit and write here and be this transparent, but I know I'm not the first to experience the "adoption birthing pains" that seem to sometimes go on forever, so therefore I want to share this for those that are wondering "what are you doing?" and "what do you need for support right now?". Those prayers still need to be heard. Please remember us as you pray.

I came across this poem in a book that spoke to me, and it may speak to others in their understanding, or maybe you have experienced this yourself, so I thought I would share.

Song of the waiting mother

I’m pregnant but my tummy isn’t growing

And no one ever calls me “Little Mom”

The public simply isn’t overflowing

With questions that I’d handle with aplomb

There are no special clothes that mark my waiting

Nobody stops and smiles as I pass by.

The absence of a due date is frustrating

And looking at the nursery makes me cry

When I’m overdue no one will worry

The phone won’t ring and ring as friends check in

I can’t induce my labor in a hurry

My new life as a parent to begin.

Adoption is a worrisome endeavor

And waiting all alone is not much fun.

To be “with child” a year seems like forever.

Dear God, we’re ready! Please send us our son.

- Christine Futia (1989)

Adoption FAQ's

It's only been a week of letting the social networking world know of where we are on our journey, and already the responses have moved us and warmed our hearts. I wish I could only express half of what we have been feeling the past week since sharing the news with all our friends and family. But because my husband is so intelligent, he shared this today on our Facebook group "the Journey Home". I would like to share this with you as I feel this will answer some if not all of your questions about our journey through adoption. Thanks for taking the time to read. 

Hey everyone!

I want to start off with a big thank you. You don’t have to support us with your love and prayers, yet here you are. That’s pretty amazing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all of this so far it’s that our lives are filled with fantastic people, and in the end what’s more important than a loving community? 

If I’ve learned a second thing it’s that Amanda and I don’t like asking for financial support. It’s awkward. If we could have our way we’d pay for the whole thing and just flood Facebook with photos and quotes from a toddler. Unfortunately, we’re just not there financially. 

Last night I realized if it was me reading someone else’s adoption page I would probably have a few questions. So for anyone too polite to ask, here’s an FAQIPWTAT (Frequently Asked Questions… If People Were To Ask Them). 

Q) $8,000 doesn’t seem like a lot for an adoption; why not reach deep into your own pockets?

A) We’re reaching as deep as we can. Amanda and I have been saving, but the $8k is the remainder of what we estimate we’ll still need in legal fees and travel expenses. We’re still paying for as much of it ourselves as we possibly can.

Q) $8,000 seems like an awful lot for an adoption; shouldn’t you have waited until you were financially ready?

A) $8k is a lot of money for people to sign some papers, but we won’t get into that. As far as waiting, we were prepared to wait a long time for the whole process to go through because we were initially going to start the adoption process from scratch. However, as God would have it, the opportunity to adopt a beautiful little girl right now presented itself and, simply put, we weren’t going to let a stupid thing like money get in the way of calling her our daughter.

Q) Don’t you think you’re asking a lot from people?

A) Absolutely. 

Q) How do I know the money is going towards the adoption and you’re not just going to buy yourself a boat?

A) For one, I don’t know how to sail. But more importantly, we’re trying to be as transparent as possible with the funds, with the exception of who is giving what. Pretty much every person we know is in the loop with our adoption fundraising, which certainly holds us accountable. Any funds that may be remaining after legal and travel fees will go toward our little girl. It will not in any way go towards Ty buying a boat, no matter how good he looks in a pair of khakis and a nautical blazer. 

Q) What if I can only give a little bit to help? It’s probably not enough to bother with.

A) Please remember that every single little tiny bit helps. We are grateful for anything you could give to help. 

Q) I’m not in a place where I can give anything, will you hate me?

A) We *completely* understand if you’re unable to support us financially, and we don’t want that to hinder you from celebrating with us. If you are able to give up your valuable time to pray for us that would mean the whole world to us.

Q) How can I get a tax receipt for my donation?

A) Unfortunately you can’t. We wish it was possible, but it’s not. 

Q) So you’re saying I’ll give my money and get nothing back?

A) You’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you invested in the life of a beautiful little girl who will grow up in a house surrounded by love, and will live a life knowing this world is full of love. 

Q) Why aren’t you doing this and this and this to fundraise? 

A) If you have fundraising ideas, by all means let us know. Don’t assume we’ve thought of it already. Our minds are on things like legal papers and toddler proofing our house, and unfortunately we may not be able to think of the cleverest ideas. So if you know something that could work please share it!

Our Adoption Dream (Fundraising letter)

Dear Friends;

It is with great pleasure that we write this letter to inform you of an exciting time in our lives. We recently decided to adopt a child. Unlike some adoptions, we are connected with this child and we know her current name and we know her family, which is wonderful. But the unfortunate piece of this puzzle is that in order to bring this child home we have significant legal fees, travel fees, and private agency fees that we are required to pay. It is with that purpose that we write this letter.

Since we have moved to Labrador City two years ago we have discussed that it may be time to grow our family. As a couple, adoption has always been something that has been near and dear to our hearts. Our strong desires to adopt have been with us both since the time we were 18 years old. And this opportunity to adopt and to help a child in need is such a wonderful precious opportunity for us and our families.

Around Christmas of 2012 God started to prepare us for the next step in our lives and the purpose we were to fulfill. During that time we were discussing that the time was close and we thought that perhaps it was time to look into some possibilities.

Then about a month ago we received a call that would change our lives.  This call was one that we did not anticipate but one that we knew was for us at exactly the right time. There is a two year old baby girl residing in Ontario with her great grandparents. There she is well taken care of and is a lovely and lively little girl, but her grandparents are concerned about being able to take care of her much longer. Because her mother is very young and unable to take care of her on her own, her grandparents felt that this would be the next step that they should take. In order to avoid this baby girl being placed in random foster homes for the rest of her life both we and her family desire for her to live with us in order that we may help provide a stable, healthy, Christian home for her to grow up in.

We cannot wait for her to come home. We cannot wait to hold her in our arms. Nothing can express the excitement and the joy that we have felt since we chose to adopt this baby girl. We now can’t imagine our lives without her. We want to be there for this baby girl for the rest of her life.

Would you help us provide all of this for her?

Sincerely,

Ty, Amanda and baby girl Dunham

Our Adoption Dream

It’s hard to believe that six years ago when we were married that we would arrive here at this place. Many years ago, before we married, we shared a conversation about adoption. We discussed how beautiful the idea was and how we could see it happen in our future. Throughout our marriage we revisited the conversation time and time again, knowing that one day we would see it happen.
We didn’t know when it would happen and we didn’t know who would become the third addition to our family. We just knew that someday it would.

Our dream is becoming a reality.

The past two years have been a great adventure adjusting to life in Labrador. As the time went on our thoughts of increasing our family grew, and during the Christmas season we decided we would begin taking the steps in the New Year.

As we prayed and discussed this matter we were given a call that we knew was in God’s perfect timing. When we heard about a little two year old girl in Ontario who needed a new loving home we quickly knew she would become a part of our immediate family. Where her great grandparents and her mother are unable to take care of her any longer, we both felt God leading us as the next step in our lives journey to be there for this little girl. We are ready and prepared to take this on, like no other change we have had in our lives.

This child has come to us through our extended family. And by coming to us through that means, it often feels as if God has placed her in our lives directly. We believe that God chose her for us. We believe that God has provided her a happy home for the last two years, and now it is our job to carry that on. That happy home that she has been a part of, despite her great grandparents being unable to take care of her any longer, has helped her grow into a little happy healthy child. Simply said, I believe she will be more of a blessing in our lives then she will ever know. 

This past month has brought so much joy into our lives knowing she will one day be running through our house laughing and giggling, filling our home with love. It’s been a delight to start thinking about the coming changes in our lives, readying her new room and preparing our house for a toddler. 

This adoption means so much to us to be able to help a child who needs a home. It means that our lives will forever be blessed. It means we get to share in the raising of a beautiful little girl. It means that there will be a continuous joy and laughter and happiness in our home that can only be brought on by the life of a child. Although this is an experience that we have not experienced in our lives up to this point, it’s a journey that we know we are ready to take, and that God has been preparing us for several years as a couple.

These changes have come quickly for us, and knowing that we will have a little Dunham in our house by this summer is so exciting. We are pleased to make this announcement to all of our friends and family, and having you be a part of this journey with us is a true blessing.

Financial Needs

The adoption process must be completed through a private adoption. This includes us completing an application that includes medical assessment, criminal record check, a home assessment and a 27 hour adoption parenting class. Once legal requirements are all fulfilled for both Ontario and Newfoundland, we will then begin the transition period. This transition normally will involve a two week period where ourselves and the grandparents will be together in order to transition our baby girl to become used to living with us. Currently we are anticipating her arrival around June 2013.

In order to complete the whole adoption process there are several fees that incur as we proceed. Therefore our needs are as followed:

First and foremost we are asking for your prayers. Whoever you are and wherever you are, God can hear your prayers. The other is financial. Our goal is to raise $8,000 to cover the fees listed below.

Legal Fees: $3000             Agency Fees: $4000        Travel Fees: $1000

The objective will be this: We will be mailing out 40 groups of letters to our friends and families. From those 40 people they will each deliver a packet to three of their friends or family.  If each person who receives a packet gifted $50 to our cause, then that would equal $200 for that grouping. Therefore if we receive $200 from each of the groups, that would equal the $8000 required to bring our baby girl home.  (4x50=200, 40x200=8000)

You can give to this cause by sending an email transfer to dunhamadoption@gmail.com. This option is normally available through most online banking services where the money is immediately transferred from one bank account to another.  Each email transfer requires a question and password. You may provide us the password by emailing us or calling us in order to protect privacy. If you choose to email us please email us at adunham52@gmail.com or the email above. You may also choose to mail a cheque by emailing a request to forward you our mailing address. 

**We apologize that we are unable to provide tax receipts. Any contribultions will be considered a gift.

We understand this is a lot to ask. We are still thankful and grateful for any amount that you are able to contribute. We trust that God will provide all of our needs to complete this adoption. Please pray that God would move mountains to bring our daughter home by June 2013.

If you need any other following information, please feel free to contact us at the above email address or at the following number 709-944-1777 or 709-280-2442.

We thank you with all the love we have in us, 

Ty and Amanda Dunham

Another journey...

 It's been such a long time since I have taken the time to sit down and share my thoughts on my blog. Our journey hasn't stopped. In fact our journey, for us has just become more exciting for us.

Ty and I have begun another journey for 2013. The journey began about a month ago when we received a very important phone call.....

 We received the call around the end of January. It was an extended family member letting us know that there was a little girl that needed a more permanent place to live. So after some much needed prayer, Ty and I knew exactly what we were meant to do on this journey and this next step.....WE ARE ADOPTING!

So fast forward a month....we have began settling with the idea of adopting a little girl into our family and are extremely excited, but along with anything we have ever found in our life comes a lot of red tape and a lot of challenges. Initially we thought that this journey would be simple and easy, it has now become much more complicated and much more expensive then we had originally planned. But we have placed our trust in God that despite the the challenges that may come, he has planned this for our lives.

This is not something we prepared for to happen so quick, but currently this little girl is being well taken care of, but her caregivers are suffering with health conditions and it is becoming difficult for them to care for her and give her the time, attention and energy that she requires. We would really like to have her home by June 2013.

Ty and I have always dreamed of adopting a child. Although we have never found out if we can or cannot have our own children, it was not much of a concern for us, because we always knew that adoption was going to be part or our lives in one form or another. There is no question that God has placed this little girl in our path for a reason.

 As we have seen from our journey before, God has always been faithful and has always provided for us. When we didn't think we could make it another day in a cabin with no shower and no proper heat God came through at just the right time. We are believing and having that faith once again that God will reveal himself and show himself to us once again. We have no doubt, and we ask that you join us in prayer through this journey.

Because this is required to be a private adoption we will have some unexpected expenses with this. We are reaching out to our friends and family and even beyond to help support us through this. This is a difficult thing for us to do. We know that people have their own things going on, and for us to seek support from others is a particularly humbling experience, but God has pushed us beyond our pride and challenged us to put our faith into action.  Please take the time to read the letter that I have included, then if you have any type of desire to give to us in the form of a gift, we will receive your gift with openness and most importantly thankfulness. But most importantly please put us in your prayers as we go through this journey. Your prayers will be the best gift of all.

Every little dollar will count, and we believe if God can take 5 loaves and 5 fishes and multiply that for 5000 people, then he can surely take every little dollar that we save, or that is given to us and multiply it and use it for his glory and at the end of the day bring home this baby girl.

Ty and I have been so excited to share this news with friends and family and it would be so wonderful to bring our baby girl home by June 2013. We would love for you to help us bring her home as well.

Please pray that God will move the mountains for us as we begin another journey. And please feel free to email us at dunhamadoption@gmail.com  with any questions of how you can help make this happen for us.

We are excited for this next step and can't wait to hold this little girl in our arms. Please pray as we journey through this.

Quicksands of life

I remember a year ago as I was sleeping in a stranger's bed and completely lost as to where my life was going. I know that it is very easy to get back into that same place..the question of where my life is heading. That's where it's at. Where am I going? What am I doing here? Why am I here? Am I the only  one that thinks these things?

Ty and I have gone through a lot in the last year, but we still feel like we are stuck in quicksand. Not going anywhere not doing anything. Just living....

That was never what we wanted for our lives. We have wanted to move forward and live our dreams. But this quicksand of bills, house payments, car payments, and life just kinda get in the way. Where are our dreams now? Have we lost them.

Living your dream is not easy...especially when you lose sight of them.

There are so many purposes for us to be where we are at, but we are still confused about those exact purposes. For the last year we have focused on our careers, and pulled back from a lot of the things we once knew. We have made friends but still isolate ourselves a lot (even when we don't really want to). Sometimes I wonder if we are just living too much in the past? Are we hoping for our friends and family from back home to come into Labrador City? Are we hoping for the same type of church? For the same type of environment  Because if we are, we are going to get discouraged, because bottom line is things are different here, and they always will be. We have a different life, and different friends, and different careers. Not that any of this is bad, but sometimes it's hard to not want to step back and go back into the "comfortable". Into the place that we knew, into the careers we knew, into the life we knew. But is that what living dreams are about?

It's kind of like our spiritual lives. People for so long live in the comfort of their spiritual lives and don't move. They don't reach out to all the possibilities that God could have before them. We get stuck in the past, so when things change in the future, we get angry. We get angry with God mostly. God tries to move us to new things by presenting new challenges in our lives but we resist it because we don't want to leave our comfort zone. Those challenges sometimes suck. They bring us to crossroads where we have to decide things and we seek out guidance, but feel like we are all alone and God is not answering our call. So then we stay where we are. We don't move anywhere, because what's the point. If we move from this place, there could be new challenges around that corner, and there could be breakdowns and meltdowns. We could feel lost...so in order to avoid all those troubled thoughts and fears, we stay put...hoping that the storm will pass us by, and we will not be forced to "move" from our quicksand.

So here we are...in a place where everything continues to constantly change. Where there is constant learning and constant challenging, but what is my response??...well right now I want to go back to where it was comfortable. A time when I didn't have to face challenging questions in my life. Where I didn't have to ask myself or God "is this all there is?" or "what else can I do?" or "where do I go from here?". It's the crossroad.....it's the place that we all try to avoid at one time or another. We don't want to go down either road so we just stand still..and maybe eventually someone else will make the choice for us, or we will just get stuck deeper in that quicksand and not be able to go anywhere.

But what happens when you eventually want to move out of that quicksand? How do you finally get unstuck? You still don't know if you want to move to the right or the left, but you know you want out. It's the feeling that your not moving forward despite wanting to. You just have no idea where to go from here. You are just stuck in the "comfortable"...usually all alone to make up your own mind, and to figure out for yourself how to get out. You can call on God, but the only answer you get from him is that "you can choose either road, and I will still love you. It doesn't matter what road you take as long as you are following after me". God just wants us to keep chasing him. And perhaps that's how we get unstuck from our quicksand, is that we keep chasing him? That we never give up and look back no matter what road we decide to take. He's on both roads. He's there cheering us on through the race despite how much we may be unhappy with our own choices. Eventually he will give us another crossroad, and we may get stuck again, but we can find hope that we will always be able to get unstuck

I don't want to remain in a comfort zone of life, or spiritual life. Therefore I can't stop walking. I have to keep moving forward no matter what the crossroad might bring. I have to keep following "the light". Just keep moving. Just keep going forward, and stop looking behind me..no matter how comfortable it might seem.

So are you looking forward or ahead? Have you gotten stuck and want to become unstuck? How do you become unstuck? It's the challenge each of us faces. So what do we do about it?

I'm not shy, I'm an introvert

I"M NOT SHY! I"M AN INTROVERT!!! Yes there is a difference. My closest friends, family and my husband, I'm sure can attest to that.

I was always labeled from a very young age as "shy". I hated it, I still hate it, but often not sure why I hate it so much. It's probably because I have a longing for deep connections..I want to push myself, and I want to talk to people. I enjoy people, and I love getting to know someone, but I have a dilemma..which is actually a strength in many areas:  my introverted personality.

 There are certain things as an introvert that I hate to hear:
1. Just overcome it...
2. Push yourself
3. It's good for you to be around people
4. You need to just do it and step outside your comfort zone...
5. Just be confident and be yourself..of course people will like you...

I think those type of comments always come from an extrovert. So when I can't just do those things I feel as if I have failed. I feel guilty because when I'm not talking I must appear as not a very nice person. Why can't I just be comfortable in my introverted skin? Why can't I just be allowed to be introverted and respected because of it? You might understand that feeling. Always feeling exhausted because you have to push yourself beyond your limits, always feeling like people are judging you because you are horrible at small talk, or feeling like you are coming across to a person as not being open or talkative..or worst of all SHY..because you haven't come into a party trying to be the center of attention.

The thing about an introvert is that they crave community, and they crave intimate times (just ike a real person..imagine that). Feeling rejuvenated for an introvert comes from an intimate close conversation or time alone to think or write, or just spending time sitting silently with someone who understands you. Believe it or not, I'm one of the loud ones when I'm around the right people. Those friends that have known me for a long time have a hard time even seeing me as an introvert. But that's what I need. I need to be comfortable with people...but not a lot of people. I'd rather be with one person the rest of my life that I felt completely comfortable with  rather then 30 people that I can only know limited things about.


As a counsellor, I listen to people. I give them time to talk to me. For some clients they don't need much time, they already know what they want to tell me, and for others they aren't even exactly sure why they are there. That's ok. I respect that. Sometimes I sit in silence with that person, just waiting until they can talk. Sometimes I explore other ways of communicating to me through art, or email, or music. The introverted person needs time. They need someone to understand them. They need to feel safe, and they need to feel accepted for who they are. So if they are not coming right out and sharing all their emotional thoughts, if they don't cry at sad stories, if they don't show up to all the parties that you invited them to it's not because they don't trust you, it's not because they are insensitive and it's not because they are antisocial.

So here's my thought that I'm struggling with: Churches seem to be meant for the extroverted personalities. Where does the introverted Christian belong? How does the introverted Christian find a place?

Get me in front of a crowd to lead worship, and it's like no one else is in the room but me and God. Get me around a bunch of youth and tell me to lead the night...to that I say "bring it".

But ask me to socialize around the coffee table, or hang out after church in a big group of people, or the ever hated turn around and shake hands for 5 minutes during the middle of a service, I cringe and my whole body will tighten up in dislike (that's what counsellors may even refer to as anxiety). If we expect the introverted person to make a connection during those 5 or 10 minutes we are expecting way too much of that personality. It's a personality trait that I have had since I was young and to change that in a blink of 10 minutes is like asking someone to erase everything they know and understand.

So how can the church represent and work with these introverted personalities? How can us introverted find our place in the church? How can we connect with people in ways that we feel comfortable doing?

Well I'm going to begin reading a book on this very topic, and will be anxious to share some more thoughts after reading it, but also would like to find out what your thoughts are on this. Please share. :)

Searching for my song

So I posted on my facebook status this morning that I was feeling lonesome but don't know for what. At first I thought it must be my family, and yes of course I do miss them but I really miss them all the time, not just sometimes. It's like something has been missing. So then I went to the house/ Moncton city life maybe??? Was that it, is that what I could be missing.

But then just a couple of hours ago it struck me, all day (once I was done my ritual Saturday cleaning of course) I was sitting on this computer or watching some TV just wasting away so much good quality time. Quality time that I could be using for so much more.

To back up what I said in my last post, I have been wondering about myself. Since moving to a new province, having no connection here whatsoever and meeting all new people I've been learning about myself, and wondering what Ty and I are to be doing here. We both know that our only purpose in moving here was certainly not to just get a job. We had no idea about what type of a "boom" town we were moving into until we were only a month away from coming here. But here we are, all settled into our house, with electricity and water, and now it's just life as normal. An opportunity for me to be doing and thinking about so much more.

So it hit me, as I stared into mirror..when was the last time I picked up my guitar and started playing and singing? or even writing? Since I was around 10 years old music has been a huge part of my life, so now I'm in a career, and feel somewhat settled should I abandon it. Music is a part of me. I remember when I would put on "concerts" for my parents and bang on that guitar like I was the best thing around making up words as I went along and singing at the top of my lungs like the whole world really wanted to hear me sing.

When we left Moncton, a great fella from our church asked Ty and I if we had any You Tube videos or anything..I laughed..quite a bit...I am past the point of wanting to be a rock star, but it certainly was flattering.

I remember the first time I sung in church, and I remember the first time I picked up the guitar and actually learned my first chord, and I can still play the first song that I ever wrote...a typical D C and G type song. I remember the first time I lead worship with a real band, and then I remember my first "real" band FLUFFO as we called ourselves. But as I sit here today I realize that somewhere along this journey I stopped picking up the guitar and just playing for fun, playing just to worship on my own time, and playing just cause I love the feel of that music coming from the guitar hitting every corner of my being. Music for me has been a language between God and I. It's more then singing and playing other people's songs, but it's about communicating with God on a whole new level.

I think somewhere in that sound is my many songs to God. Perhaps this is why I have felt lonesome cause I'm missing out on that communication with the one that matters most in my life. For so long I was leading worship every Sunday and playing my guitar every chance I had, so now that I'm on "sabbatical" I suppose you could say, I'm missing prime opportunities to make it about just God and I singing together writing beautiful songs. Even if it's not anything I record or anything I sing in church, it's about the communication.

I believe that everyone has a communication with God in their own way. I believe it is with that communication that we not only get to know God better but we get to know ourselves. So maybe that's what I've been missing, and maybe that's how I can go back to who I really am and not feel ashamed of it. The world can clouds our thoughts, and distract us from things that really give us confidence and the knowledge of who God has genuinely created us to be. As we get distracted with careers and bills, and friends and family and being accepted and gossip and whatever else there might be perhaps if we just start communicating clearly again in our proper language we can find who we really are, or at least begin the search over again.

Just to add....

Just read an awesome quote from someone I don't know, but quoted by an amazing person in my life that I thought was really intriguing...

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you are not"

Just an added thought I suppose......

Lost in comparisons

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/tech/blog/28333-do-you-need-a-qpinterventionq

READ THIS LINK FIRST!

Well I've had a heavy day, and then I read this...wow...I wouldn't have thought that it's precisely where I'm at but just starting to realize it. I wanted to share this article because I think that it's something that many women especially may find it difficult to say, but is so true. On our journey here to Labrador, I have had many eye opening experiences including fear of who I am, fear of not being liked, being seen as judgemental, being seen as a newby, or childish and other noted things that probably not the first woman to feel insecure about...

So as much as I enjoy and love the new pinterest addiction that I have, I'm wondering if it is taking me off who I really am. Am I an artist??? Even though I certainly did try a nice new art project today (referenced by Pinterest), or am I a cook?? or am I actually organized??? or am I really simply trying to live up to what a woman of my age "should" be. 

I have never really known if I ever wanted children. (Even before I met my husband). I have always had a heart for the lost who have no homes, fostering or adopting. Any time I would hear one of those stories I would tear up, but even that right now frightens me, and I wonder if I ever really want to be a mother or mother figure..I have a hard enough time being a wife... But here I am 28 years old, and I'm still trying to figure it all out. And trying not to feel the pressure of the world of what I "should" do.  I know that I LOVE music, I love worshipping, and I love funky things that everyone probably looks at me and thinks...Amanda?? umm...maybe you shouldn't be wearing that, or doing that... or painting that??? etc...etc....

I met a woman last week who would speak her mind no matter what..didn't care what anyone thought. She said she didn't care to chat about the "little" things, but the only things she was interested in was to sit with someone "drink, smoke and talk about relationships" she said as she laughed with not a care in the world. Ok, no that's not who I am, but I did like how she knew what she wanted and what she wanted to do. But don't get me wrong, I think this same woman took a long time to get there. 

I've always wanted to help young girls who are struggling with who they are, struggling with what God wants for their lives, struggling with relationships, or their self esteem, stuff like that, but I'm not sure if I can do it until I know who I am, and not needing to compare myself to those around me.

 I just don't want to "fit" in. I want to not feel the need to compare, conform, or to adapt. I want to feel secure in what and who I am, and I want to take interest in what other women do, but not feel the need to do it the "exact" same way...I want my creativity and my individuality to speak for itself. 

The timeline....

Wow..this is hilarious and awesome at the same time. I was looking back on my FACEBOOK Timeline (which is a neat way to reminisce), and I came across this note.  I wish I could have read this several months ago, and I would have been reminded that God provides. I wish I would just learn the first time and not have gone through the same doubts over and over.

This letter was written before we moved to PEI and shortly after we got married (2007). We were on our way to move to the big town of Kensington (insert sarcasm here) and were in no way able to purchase a house. We were at a point where we had no idea where we were gonna live in this small town. (sound familiar???)  I guess I was just on the verge of growing up and learning things about God..but here I am still learning, and being reminded.

So why is it that we continue to have to go through things time and time again (sometimes almost the most identical things). Why can't we all get it through our thick skulls that we can trust in God? How do the same reminders keep coming back time and time again?

Maybe I have REALLY learned my lesson this time. Maybe this time I can know that God provides all of our needs..including a house...even if it's with time, and challenges along the way.

How many times do you need to be slapped in the face by God to be reminded? How many times do you go through similar things in order to be taught a good lesson? Am I the only one here...????

Read on.....

My Dilemna

by Amanda Dunham on Thursday, April 5, 2007 at 11:22pm

It's weird. Everything has been put into place..well except for a new place. Tyler got accepted into Journalism at Holland College in PEI, and today I got my job with flying colors. So now we really would need a place to live, and we need to know that it is going to be convienent and affordable. We really want to get a dog and be able to have good living arrangements. This is the problem with moving into a small town, smaller choice.
The point is, the job provides a lot of opportunity. I can teach Kindergarden and grow even more into a teaching profession. I really love what I'm doing and do want to grow. This is an excellent opportunity. I just hate making mistakes.
So what I'm asking, is that if you believe in God, or even if you don't say a little prayer for Tyler and I, that things will come together the way they are supposed to.
We know what we want for a house and for a life, (at least for the next 2 years) but really hope that it will all happen with no regrets.
Thank you for listening, and most definatly thank you for the positive feeling that we will recieve back for all of this.

Amanda

So now...let's fast forward a few months from that letter....as you can see in this photo below...God provided....(of course he did)

Look at this back yard...we were blessed..we went from a one bedroom apartment to this small but more then adequate house with a lovely back yard....

And out of this came another wonderful blessing in our lives.... She was my princess then and she still is...oh Jazz. Sounds ridiculous to some, but Ty and I can't imagine our lives without her. Wasn't she the cutest puppy??

So yeah....God provides all our needs. That house was the starting point for our lives. And I don't think I really knew until today, how much God was trying to teach me back then. Perhaps I was too absorb with new married life, new dog, new community, new job, that I took my eyes off the most important thing, how God provided for us.

So will I forgot again our experience in Labrador? Well it's very easy to forgot, but I try to keep reminding myself. I try to wake up and jump in my shower every morning, and thank God. I try to thank God every time I turn on my dishwasher, or go in and sit on my couch in a nice warm house. But that's it I believe..you do have to remind yourself, you have to look back sometimes to realize where you have been and now where you can go and what you can do with that teaching. Hmmm...perhaps God has finally gotten through my thick skull??

Survival of the fittest

You ever walk into a room, and immediately just look for a safe spot to sit?? A spot where nothing or no one will really notice you, and you can just sort of blend in. That's me. I stand back, scope the place out, see who would be sitting around me, wonder if they are friendly. I also try to check out and make sure that I can appear comfortable but on the inside I'm aching with uncomfortable feelings. I've got so many thoughts racing, and I've got so many mixed emotions. My stomach is usually in knots, and I'm usually sweating like crazy. I'm trying hard just to keep my head low, but at the point where I can still appear approachable.

APPROACHABLE...there's the key word for me. I don't want to look like I don't want to meet anyone, but I know that I'm not super comfortable just to start randomly walking up to people I've never seen before in my life. If someone were to walk up to me and start chatting, I would start chatting with them like as if I knew them my whole life. I listen and ask questions, that's what I do for a living, once I'm approached the chatting is not hard to do. And in my role you soon learn that most people are ok with talking about themselves once they are given permission.

Now different situation, put me in a small group, or in a leadership role of any type, I'm going to make every effort I can to make everyone else not feel uncomfortable. I'm going to help people feel important, and hopefully "break the ice".

You would think at my age, that meeting and making new friends becomes all natural and easy. I mean I should be confident and secure in myself by now right and be able to approach anyone?  Well for some people, they probably just have always been good at it, but if your like me, it's always been a push. It doesn't just come naturally like others. And now I'm at a stage in my life, where I wonder if because I consider my husband my best friend, and I have my two "kids" to take care of, if I've become comfortable with that.

I went to University where I didn't know anyone. I had to just learn to survive on my own. And I did. In my first year I met one of my best friends, who still remains that way. She is one of my main go to people. And my other best friend, well I had known her since I was young, and we immediately got reacquainted there in town. I still even had to get to know her all over again. So from those two, we met a few other people, some at church, and some at school, but we got comfortable.

 I recall sitting together with my three friends during supper at the University Cafeteria, and there were more chairs at the table, but normally we sat just us 4 and we were happy with that. Were we unapproachable? Were we wrapped up in our own little friendship that we didn't let anyone else in? It's hard to recall what people may have thought of us, but now I wonder if as you age, and you get married, if people assume that you don't need anyone else and you become unapproachable. Yeah you might know a few other people, and you might acquaint yourself with them, but really overall, you are just comfortable with your significant other, and therefore unless you can find another couple who conveniently has all the same interests as you and your husband, and you somehow have all the same senses of humor you just go out treading water on your own. So then you have children (or dogs in my case) and they become your world. Your home is child and/ or dog friendly, and so then unless you meet other couples who has a child that yours can be best friends with, so they grow up having someone in their lives that they are close to, and the parents are close and friendly and enjoy each other's company, but it's never the same as when you met that first best friend back in University. (now perhaps this is a different scenario then with dogs :)

So what am I getting at? Well how do I appear approachable, even though I'm happily married with two wonderful dogs? How do we meet new people naturally? Do we have to have kids? Do we need dogs? And although I'm never expecting to replace any friendships that I already have (because even with distance, I always feel close to them), is it possible to reconnect with people in the same way that we did back in University, when you had relationships, and school work, and fashions and stuff to talk about.

I will always remember how I met my husband. My best friend and I went to church, and on the way out the door, a group of guys came and APPROACHED us and tried to find out some stuff about us, and asked us to hang out. Sure there was ulterior motives, but they approached us. And if you asked my friend today, she would think that we were not exactly the most approachable people. But here we were, people wanted to make friends, guys wanted to meet new girls. So what now? I've been married for 5 years, and have moved around, and met many different wonderful people, but have never really developed the same types of relationships like I had in University. Does this mean I'm unapproachable? Does this mean that I'm just too comfortable? Does this mean I compare too much?

I would love to be able to just walk up to someone and say "blah blah blah..would you be my friend?" like we did back in the old school days. But that's just probably not acceptable anymore. Plus my personality doesn't do well with it. Have I lost my survival instinct? When we first arrived in Labrador the first thing we did was go to church, where we could be around people and try to look "normal" despite our living circumstances. We are here now, and we are living a more normal life with a house and our own bed, but we are still far from normal. Our survival instincts have to click in a new way. We are not trying to survive with water and heat, but trying to blend into our surroundings, and feel as if we have been here our whole lives. We need to give ourselves some time, and we need to allow ourselves opportunity, so for now I suppose I'm just trying to appear approachable.

So for those of you who are trained "APPROACHERS", well please understand that there's always more then meets the eye, one step out could mean a significant lasting friendship (even if that person doesn't seem so approachable at first). And the next time you are like me, and you get a whole sense of anxiety over meeting new people, and a simple thing of trying to choose a place to sit becomes a big deal, just take a deep breath, look around...your not going to replace your other friends, your just going to reconnect with new ones, even if its over having to wipe a baby's bum, or pick up dog poop. It's a battle ground out there, and only the fittest survive.

Thus begins PHASE 2 of our journey.......

Some good treats for later...

Every year I usually try some new yummies for Christmas, and even though Christmas is long over, and all the sweets are gone, these are treats that could be made any time of the year. So I thought I would share some of my treats that I tried.

I love sugar way more then I probably should, but at Christmas time especially. These treats I'm already thinking about making again. Chocolate chip cookie dough truffles. Biggest issue with these was it was hard to coat them in chocolate. I found the best way was to play the dough on a spoon and then dip, but then you don't get that perfect truffle look. But they all tasted the same way going down. And I LOVE chocolate chip cookie dough. This way it's safe and delicious to eat.

Here is the recipe link:

http://www.loveandoliveoil.com/2010/01/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-truffles.html

My discovery has been that there are so many chocolate chip cookie dough recipes, so my fun is just beginning.


Chocolate Cookie Dough Truffles
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/3 cup milk or soy milk
1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

14 oz dark chocolate candy coating
directions:

Beat butter and sugars and in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add soymilk and vanilla. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt and mix on low speed (or by hand) until incorporated. Stir in chocolate chips.

Cover and chill dough for 1 hour.

When dough is firm enough to handle (it may help to lightly flour your hands), form dough into 1" balls and arrange on a baking sheet lined with waxed paper. Place sheets in freezer and let chill for 30 minutes.

Melt chocolate candy coating in a double boiler or in microwave according to package directions. Using forks or a dipping tool, dip cookie balls into candy coating to cover. Tap fork on side of pan to remove any excess coating, and return to waxed paper-lined baking sheets. Chill until set. Store, chilled, in an airtight container for up to 1 week (though good luck making them last that long).

My next experience was snowball cookies ( www.anutinanutshell.com ). But not the newfie type of snowballs (which I do hope to try at some point). These did not make a big batch for me.



Ingredients
1 cup butter
1/2 cup sifted powdered sugar
1 tsp McCormick pure vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup finely chopped nuts (optional, but recommended)

Directions

1. Mix butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla thoroughly.

2. Stir flour and salt together; blend in. If adding nuts, mix those in as well.

3. Roll dough in 1-inch balls, and place on ungreased baking sheet.

4. Bake 10 to 12 minutes at 400 degrees, or until set but not brown.

5. While still warm, roll in powdered sugar. Cool completely, and then roll in powdered sugar again.

**These were a tasty treat with some tea or coffee. Not really sweet, which is nice sometimes. The one mistake was I used margarine instead of butter. They should have been lighter and fluffier.

Finally I decided to roast my own almonds.



http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/candied-almonds/

I made my own adjustments to this recipe as some of the ingredients I didn't have. But for the most part they were done as the recipe states. These were addictive and tasty. It made a whole lot of them. Big thing is to keep them fresh, so make sure they are in a good container.

Back to Living....

After a much needed trip home, and visit with family and friends, and well let's be honest, some major shopping, we are back to life. We essentially said Goodbye to our life in Moncton as we knew it. Our house from back there is gone, and we drove by to cut our ties (it's amazing how attached you can get to something...even if it's just a house). We loved being back there, around people that we were more then comfortable around, and we shed tears when we left, but it was a joyful feeling to come home to my own bed! To know that we were going to our new to us home.

So what am I going to write about now, where does this blog go from here? Well our journey is far from over. We are happy to be just living now, and now being able to live normally, but we are far from normal. Our journey always has curves and challenges, and I never think that we are done of this journey.

So as part of our continuing journey I would like to include the things that I think about, the things that we do, the culture of Labrador, and the ever creative side of our brains. We will now get back to more writing, more creativity, and one thing that we really want to do more of now is cooking.

This blog could take an interesting twist, one that I'm very excited about. I don't want it to just be about us either, I want it to be about life in general and how we are all common in our living, and I want to make it interesting. I want people to take something from it, and think...or act...or something along those lines.
 Any ideas on how to make this blog more interesting and creative?? I'm open.....

So onto a new year, onto new thoughts, new happenings, new corners to turn, and new adventures to go on! I'm excited for what may be coming! I feel like I'm prepared to face anything now!!! My eyes have been opened, and my heart has been changed.

Christmas Blessings....

Every year at Christmas we think about the year gone by and what has happened this year. Well this year, I'm overwhelmed. I don't even know where to start with the blessings.

The wonderful cabin that we were loaned!! Thank goodness for wonderful people!!

After 4 months of being "homeless" and living in a cabin with electricity ran by a generator (which isn't very fun to start on a cold cold fall morning) and no running water, we finally received an offer on our house in NB, and here we are 2 months later, and will finally be closing that chapter of our lives in New Brunswick. We closed the house in Labrador City on October 21st but God wasn't finished with our patience yet, as we still lived humbly for over a month with no furniture, and very little supplies. We sat on our living room floor and ate our first meal in our house, realizing how warm it was. Our dogs laid in the corner seeming a little more relaxed as well as the floor was much warmer in this house then in our little cabin.

Our first snowfall in the cabin sometime in October. This was our road "home" for 4 months

Our water source for 4 months!

As they ran up and down the hallway and around the house in several directions...you could see the excitement over them, just as much as us. We knew they were settling in again just as much as we were.

Then the feeling of washing our dishes with warm running water, and not to mention that feeling of stepping into that shower every morning...I can't even describe the sense of relief that we experienced.

The week before we closed on our house in Labrador City, it didn't even look like it should or would happen. The lawyer was calling me constantly and saying they needed the papers and that there was no way we would be able to close on that date. And the owners of the house we were purchasing had had enough waiting..they needed to close that date or they were going to put it back on the market...and Ty and I knew the moment it was put back on the housing market it would be sold! No doubt...

As people told us to have faith, and continue praying, it was getting so exhausting..and I was on the verge of major meltdown. I then took comfort in the fact that there was a job position in St.John's, Newfoundland, and perhaps I should apply there, and we could just get a transfer with my position here...but I knew that although St.John's would be lovely and big city, and not as isolated, I felt that God wanted us here, but that there was no way we could live here without a house.

So at the very last possible moment..and I mean very last possible moment...it all came through...11:59...again!!! :) That is a blessing and a sense of relief that I don't think I will ever experience quite to that degree again. 

Now here we are..a couple days away from closing the chapter of our lives in NB. And although we will return in one week, and travel that long windy empty road again to come celebrate Christmas with our   family and friends, I will never see that road the same again.

When we first journeyed that road, it was fear, it was anxiety of the unknown, it was a calling, it was a desire to live out our dreams. Now as we go and come probably many times in the future down and up that road it will be home, and comfort, and realization of blessings, and opportunity.

Lyric anticipating the movers!!!

The day our furniture and belongings arrived..what a relief!! We could begin to call this HOME

Closing Day: October 21st

Before and After....sleeping in the corner with relief, but still no bed..finally got his bed and his baby all in one place. It's been a long journey for them...we could tell the difference....

  One of the first snowfalls in our new home..October 2011

Our front yard of the cabin..miss waking up to that beauty every morning..I will say that!!

Labrador City View..snow covered mountain tops..Beauty!!!

I want to continue to share our journey and to share our story because I know there are others that are scared to travel their LONG road..to wherever it might lead. I think that by continuing to share our simple story it may inspire even one person to get up and travel that road that you have been avoiding for a long time, cause somewhere, no matter how bumpy it might be to get there, there is beauty and there is hope at the end of that road.....

Merry Christmas! and remember this New year to count all your blessings....