I've wanted to write so much more in between these two posts...but I'm skipping ahead today...
Ty and I have been waiting..trying to be patient. We are being pushed stretched, and challenged to have the faith that we need in order to accomplish a dream that we've been given.
My stomach is constantly aching, and my head hurts. I always feel tired, and I just want something familiar around me..whether it be tidbits of my belongings, or a picture of my family on my wall. Or even a bed..that would be a great feeling.
We have come down to the wire as we hit the winter cold month, living in a cabin is not possible. We have switched from summer to winter very quickly..which is why they call it the land of Two seasons. The cabin has been good to us, and the air has stayed manageable, but it's not just about the fact that we go to the gym every morning to shower, and it's not just the fact that we have to put wood in the fire every time we step into the freezing cold cabin..it's the missing of a feeling of "going home". We are surrounded by other people's belongings and family pictures, we are living out of a suitcase, and we sometimes eat off of plastic and paper plates.
Someone made a comment of how adventurous we are...well our adventurous spirit is feeling very very thin. I have a much deeper appreciation for the little things, and I have realized that I don't need "STUFF" to survive. I mean surrounding myself with bundles of clothes, and movies, and TVs and music, and just stuff does not make it home. It's about a feeling of comfort, of somewhere safe and warm, and I appreciate the fact that we have that ability. That we can look forward to moving somewhere with running water and electricity makes me feel blessed, and makes me feel better about my life.
I've appreciated every moment that we've been challenged stretched, and that our faith has grown. So now it's perseverance. I've been reminding myself of the scripture that says "let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us".
Perseverance...where does it come from? How do we get it? I mean at first when you start running you have tons of energy, but then you hit that mountain, and it's nearly impossible to keep up the same pace. So how do you keep going? What do you do to give yourself strength when you are on the last stretch of your race?
Another scripture says: "the joy of the Lord is my strength". Does that mean when we experience his joy we experience the strength? The kind of strength that will lead us to persevere even when we are exhausted. Is there ever a point we give up? Do we ever start taking a new path, a new direction, and how do we know?
I've been thankful for every chance Ty and I have grown closer together on this journey. I have been thankful for God taking care of us in so many ways...so what now?? How do I know that 11:59 is near?? How do I know that my perseverance is not in vain, that God will give us the strength, and that we are running the right race??
For us to come here, to stay here, and to work here has been a miracle and a blessing. Now in order for it to continue and to serve here as we feel led, we need another miracle. I feel like I'm putting a timeline, and ultimatum to God, but I'm not, I'm just wondering and knowing that so many things are outside my control, and I just have to wait and keep persevering...NO matter what time it is I guess......
