The unending journey

Well as most of you probably are aware, our little girl came home!!! And it's been a miracle ever since. The summer has been crazy with trying to settle her in as well as us trying to adjust to the excitement and the exhaustion of having  two and a half year old in our house. After 6 years of marriage, we understood that our house would feel totally different with a child but nothing like what we have been experiencing.

The past 4 months have flown by and the intensity of what we have been through is unreal. There have been highs and lows. Some of our expectations were met, and then others proved to be a little more difficult then we had anticipated. The initiation into parenthood for us has been a huge exciting ride and I'm sure there will be more to come.

Now after 4 months I sit in front of my laptop not feeling completely exhausted to the point that I can't even imagine thinking. We are in a wonderful routine in our lives and everyone including her appears to have adjusted....it's not that every day doesn't take some prayer, but like I said...apparently (based on what I hear from others) that's what the parent life is like.

I believe Ty and I are going to learn some lessons along the way and I know that every day I feel like we get better at this. So I still want to continue taking you on our journey even if it looks a little bit different then it has been in the past. I suppose that's the ride of life that we are all on.

So...from this point I will attempt to share with you (through likely several blog posts) our little life lessons that I hope may be applicable to you in someway. Today I share with you the biggest lesson that we learned (well I should say that we RE-learned) was that God is bigger then everything and he is constantly in control. The little miracles that we experienced as our little girl journeyed home are unreal. It has been  roller coaster and at times I doubted his strength, but when I saw things come together in ways that no man could control I realized that you know what....there's something so much bigger at work here. There's nothing that can stand in our way when we have people surrounding us in prayer and support. Everything from financial to practical, to paperwork being completed. It would only make sense for me to share with you in person. I know that there were things that I couldn't control, and being a control freak that's a little difficult for me. But here it was, completely surrendered to God, and he took care of us all in ways we could not imagine.

So to all my wonderful readers...whoever you are (Hi Mom!), I'm here to share the evidence of our little miracle that we have been through in the past couple of months, and what better way to do that then show you visually.

As we wait....

In my last post about waiting, it was difficult. It was on of the low points on the roller coaster. After writing that post we have been doing much thinking, and many people have spoken into our lives in a number of ways. First of all we now know for sure that people are praying for us, and it works. Also we have realized that even with all the waiting that is happening, one..we know that it's worth the wait...and two...we are learning and growing from the experience....again.

This morning I stated to my husband of how surreal it will feel when she is home, in our arms and occupying her bedroom, adding life to our house and meeting our families, and friends, and hopefully making some of her own new friends. It simply feels like a dream of something that may or may not come. But with that..we learn. We learn about how grateful each person should be to be able to hold their baby in their arms right away. We learn about how God blesses our lives, and helps us to grow through the waiting. We learn how strong we are. We learn how much we have come through, and how we don't always have things all perfectly together, but how we will work towards that for her. We learn how everything we do right now and have done in the past even will affect us in the future with her. We learn about how there is no need to worry because things aren't in our control.

Both of us continue to recall how we felt almost two years ago when we were praying for a house to live in, and waiting for the call that we could move into our home. We never forget those cold nights in the cabin, and having to go out and gather water every weekend. That season in our lives taught us many things. And sometimes we even miss those quiet peaceful nights in a cabin, or the feeling of accomplishment every time the wood stove lit up and kept us cozy and warm.

So I know we won't forget our experience on this journey. I know we can embrace the waiting as a learning experience. I know that I will be happy to talk to my daughter some day about the benefit of waiting, and how at the end of every waiting period there is something joyous to be given. Like the anticipation we feel before a big vacation, or how we have felt as a child looking at all the sparkly gifts under the tree, the waiting was always worth while and every year that vacation eventually happened and it felt wonderful. And every year Christmas always came around and we created so many memories. You eventually forget the pain, but you never forget the experience of the wait.  Kind of like child birth... so I hear.....

ONCE WAS LOST

So here's something I'm super excited about!!!!!

We have signed up for a non-profit organization called ONCE WAS LOST. It was started by a Christian family from Canada who is also working at adopting their child from the Congo. They have included our story on their website with other families. Here is the link: 

http://waslostblog.tumblr.com/post/47367938566/tyler-and-amandas-adoption-story

You can go to the site via the link on the right hand side -->  and check out their store. Or HERE works too:

http://oncewaslost.storenvy.com/

 By purchasing something from their store and including OUR names in the note to seller box when you are checking out items, we are able to receive 50% of the purchase that you make and put that towards our adoption.  And for every $25 you spend you can feed a hungry child for a week. It's all win win if you ask me! 

There are great products and some free trade products all at reasonable prices! Check it out!!! Here are just a couple of items that they have on their page.

The Waiting game...

I know we are still in the beginning phases but we are moving along but there is more paperwork then I would have ever imagined. But even with all the paperwork and the slight hurdles that we might face along the way of this journey we are already becoming attached to our little girl.

As we wait to hear news and as our friends and family are inquisitive with questions. I wish I could be giving them more. I am awaiting the moment for the phone call that step 2 is done and step 3 is complete. Who knows how many steps there are but  eventually it will be completed. We first started on this journey being told it may only be a couple of months. And now we have been told 3 to 4 months. At that rate we believe and are praying our little girl journey's home by June. It would be a great birthday gift for my 30th birthday :)

But as we wait, we think, we plan, we feel a lot of things but nothing more then that can be done. I suppose it's likely different then when you are waiting on a pregnancy. A friend said to me, even when you are pregnant and waiting, you are still with your little one. Each passing day right now is another moment and another highlight of her life that we are missing. And even though we know where she is, she is being well taken care of and loved very much (which we are very thankful for) we want very much to be part of that as well.

How can we miss something we've never had? I don't know how we do, but we do. And every day is harder, but we will continue to wait, and we will continue to pray. As we wait we prepare. We have begun preparations in her room. We are focusing on raising funds to get her home, and we are doing a ton of reading. We want to do everything right for this little girl. We want to make our house a home for her, and we want to give her everything she needs physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I am thankful for everyone that has already supported us through this journey in so many ways already, and as we continue through the journey, I ask that you try not to forget about us. We are travelling a journey to bring our daughter home, but we are travelling a journey of preparation every day filled with some emotional roller coaster rides and some downright patience. We know it will come, and we know we are on the right path, but it often feels like a dream. One that may only become true if we are lucky.

It is hard to sit and wait. I wonder if I should be doing more of something. But as we wait, and we don't have much news to share with our friends and family, please know that those are the times when we need your prayers the most. Those are the times that Ty and I may be sitting at home in silence just waiting, just anticipating, just wondering what things will be like. Those are the times that I'm finding it difficult not to be on the phone hassling and bothering social workers all the time as they attempt to do their job. Those are the times that I'm preparing and planning for her to be here, but there are still no pattering feet, and still no little cries, and still no hugs and snuggles. We have all this love that we want to be able to give to this little girl and although our love is strong with each other, we want to give more.  It is hard for me to sit and write here and be this transparent, but I know I'm not the first to experience the "adoption birthing pains" that seem to sometimes go on forever, so therefore I want to share this for those that are wondering "what are you doing?" and "what do you need for support right now?". Those prayers still need to be heard. Please remember us as you pray.

I came across this poem in a book that spoke to me, and it may speak to others in their understanding, or maybe you have experienced this yourself, so I thought I would share.

Song of the waiting mother

I’m pregnant but my tummy isn’t growing

And no one ever calls me “Little Mom”

The public simply isn’t overflowing

With questions that I’d handle with aplomb

There are no special clothes that mark my waiting

Nobody stops and smiles as I pass by.

The absence of a due date is frustrating

And looking at the nursery makes me cry

When I’m overdue no one will worry

The phone won’t ring and ring as friends check in

I can’t induce my labor in a hurry

My new life as a parent to begin.

Adoption is a worrisome endeavor

And waiting all alone is not much fun.

To be “with child” a year seems like forever.

Dear God, we’re ready! Please send us our son.

- Christine Futia (1989)

Adoption FAQ's

It's only been a week of letting the social networking world know of where we are on our journey, and already the responses have moved us and warmed our hearts. I wish I could only express half of what we have been feeling the past week since sharing the news with all our friends and family. But because my husband is so intelligent, he shared this today on our Facebook group "the Journey Home". I would like to share this with you as I feel this will answer some if not all of your questions about our journey through adoption. Thanks for taking the time to read. 

Hey everyone!

I want to start off with a big thank you. You don’t have to support us with your love and prayers, yet here you are. That’s pretty amazing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all of this so far it’s that our lives are filled with fantastic people, and in the end what’s more important than a loving community? 

If I’ve learned a second thing it’s that Amanda and I don’t like asking for financial support. It’s awkward. If we could have our way we’d pay for the whole thing and just flood Facebook with photos and quotes from a toddler. Unfortunately, we’re just not there financially. 

Last night I realized if it was me reading someone else’s adoption page I would probably have a few questions. So for anyone too polite to ask, here’s an FAQIPWTAT (Frequently Asked Questions… If People Were To Ask Them). 

Q) $8,000 doesn’t seem like a lot for an adoption; why not reach deep into your own pockets?

A) We’re reaching as deep as we can. Amanda and I have been saving, but the $8k is the remainder of what we estimate we’ll still need in legal fees and travel expenses. We’re still paying for as much of it ourselves as we possibly can.

Q) $8,000 seems like an awful lot for an adoption; shouldn’t you have waited until you were financially ready?

A) $8k is a lot of money for people to sign some papers, but we won’t get into that. As far as waiting, we were prepared to wait a long time for the whole process to go through because we were initially going to start the adoption process from scratch. However, as God would have it, the opportunity to adopt a beautiful little girl right now presented itself and, simply put, we weren’t going to let a stupid thing like money get in the way of calling her our daughter.

Q) Don’t you think you’re asking a lot from people?

A) Absolutely. 

Q) How do I know the money is going towards the adoption and you’re not just going to buy yourself a boat?

A) For one, I don’t know how to sail. But more importantly, we’re trying to be as transparent as possible with the funds, with the exception of who is giving what. Pretty much every person we know is in the loop with our adoption fundraising, which certainly holds us accountable. Any funds that may be remaining after legal and travel fees will go toward our little girl. It will not in any way go towards Ty buying a boat, no matter how good he looks in a pair of khakis and a nautical blazer. 

Q) What if I can only give a little bit to help? It’s probably not enough to bother with.

A) Please remember that every single little tiny bit helps. We are grateful for anything you could give to help. 

Q) I’m not in a place where I can give anything, will you hate me?

A) We *completely* understand if you’re unable to support us financially, and we don’t want that to hinder you from celebrating with us. If you are able to give up your valuable time to pray for us that would mean the whole world to us.

Q) How can I get a tax receipt for my donation?

A) Unfortunately you can’t. We wish it was possible, but it’s not. 

Q) So you’re saying I’ll give my money and get nothing back?

A) You’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you invested in the life of a beautiful little girl who will grow up in a house surrounded by love, and will live a life knowing this world is full of love. 

Q) Why aren’t you doing this and this and this to fundraise? 

A) If you have fundraising ideas, by all means let us know. Don’t assume we’ve thought of it already. Our minds are on things like legal papers and toddler proofing our house, and unfortunately we may not be able to think of the cleverest ideas. So if you know something that could work please share it!

Our Adoption Dream (Fundraising letter)

Dear Friends;

It is with great pleasure that we write this letter to inform you of an exciting time in our lives. We recently decided to adopt a child. Unlike some adoptions, we are connected with this child and we know her current name and we know her family, which is wonderful. But the unfortunate piece of this puzzle is that in order to bring this child home we have significant legal fees, travel fees, and private agency fees that we are required to pay. It is with that purpose that we write this letter.

Since we have moved to Labrador City two years ago we have discussed that it may be time to grow our family. As a couple, adoption has always been something that has been near and dear to our hearts. Our strong desires to adopt have been with us both since the time we were 18 years old. And this opportunity to adopt and to help a child in need is such a wonderful precious opportunity for us and our families.

Around Christmas of 2012 God started to prepare us for the next step in our lives and the purpose we were to fulfill. During that time we were discussing that the time was close and we thought that perhaps it was time to look into some possibilities.

Then about a month ago we received a call that would change our lives.  This call was one that we did not anticipate but one that we knew was for us at exactly the right time. There is a two year old baby girl residing in Ontario with her great grandparents. There she is well taken care of and is a lovely and lively little girl, but her grandparents are concerned about being able to take care of her much longer. Because her mother is very young and unable to take care of her on her own, her grandparents felt that this would be the next step that they should take. In order to avoid this baby girl being placed in random foster homes for the rest of her life both we and her family desire for her to live with us in order that we may help provide a stable, healthy, Christian home for her to grow up in.

We cannot wait for her to come home. We cannot wait to hold her in our arms. Nothing can express the excitement and the joy that we have felt since we chose to adopt this baby girl. We now can’t imagine our lives without her. We want to be there for this baby girl for the rest of her life.

Would you help us provide all of this for her?

Sincerely,

Ty, Amanda and baby girl Dunham

Our Adoption Dream

It’s hard to believe that six years ago when we were married that we would arrive here at this place. Many years ago, before we married, we shared a conversation about adoption. We discussed how beautiful the idea was and how we could see it happen in our future. Throughout our marriage we revisited the conversation time and time again, knowing that one day we would see it happen.
We didn’t know when it would happen and we didn’t know who would become the third addition to our family. We just knew that someday it would.

Our dream is becoming a reality.

The past two years have been a great adventure adjusting to life in Labrador. As the time went on our thoughts of increasing our family grew, and during the Christmas season we decided we would begin taking the steps in the New Year.

As we prayed and discussed this matter we were given a call that we knew was in God’s perfect timing. When we heard about a little two year old girl in Ontario who needed a new loving home we quickly knew she would become a part of our immediate family. Where her great grandparents and her mother are unable to take care of her any longer, we both felt God leading us as the next step in our lives journey to be there for this little girl. We are ready and prepared to take this on, like no other change we have had in our lives.

This child has come to us through our extended family. And by coming to us through that means, it often feels as if God has placed her in our lives directly. We believe that God chose her for us. We believe that God has provided her a happy home for the last two years, and now it is our job to carry that on. That happy home that she has been a part of, despite her great grandparents being unable to take care of her any longer, has helped her grow into a little happy healthy child. Simply said, I believe she will be more of a blessing in our lives then she will ever know. 

This past month has brought so much joy into our lives knowing she will one day be running through our house laughing and giggling, filling our home with love. It’s been a delight to start thinking about the coming changes in our lives, readying her new room and preparing our house for a toddler. 

This adoption means so much to us to be able to help a child who needs a home. It means that our lives will forever be blessed. It means we get to share in the raising of a beautiful little girl. It means that there will be a continuous joy and laughter and happiness in our home that can only be brought on by the life of a child. Although this is an experience that we have not experienced in our lives up to this point, it’s a journey that we know we are ready to take, and that God has been preparing us for several years as a couple.

These changes have come quickly for us, and knowing that we will have a little Dunham in our house by this summer is so exciting. We are pleased to make this announcement to all of our friends and family, and having you be a part of this journey with us is a true blessing.

Financial Needs

The adoption process must be completed through a private adoption. This includes us completing an application that includes medical assessment, criminal record check, a home assessment and a 27 hour adoption parenting class. Once legal requirements are all fulfilled for both Ontario and Newfoundland, we will then begin the transition period. This transition normally will involve a two week period where ourselves and the grandparents will be together in order to transition our baby girl to become used to living with us. Currently we are anticipating her arrival around June 2013.

In order to complete the whole adoption process there are several fees that incur as we proceed. Therefore our needs are as followed:

First and foremost we are asking for your prayers. Whoever you are and wherever you are, God can hear your prayers. The other is financial. Our goal is to raise $8,000 to cover the fees listed below.

Legal Fees: $3000             Agency Fees: $4000        Travel Fees: $1000

The objective will be this: We will be mailing out 40 groups of letters to our friends and families. From those 40 people they will each deliver a packet to three of their friends or family.  If each person who receives a packet gifted $50 to our cause, then that would equal $200 for that grouping. Therefore if we receive $200 from each of the groups, that would equal the $8000 required to bring our baby girl home.  (4x50=200, 40x200=8000)

You can give to this cause by sending an email transfer to dunhamadoption@gmail.com. This option is normally available through most online banking services where the money is immediately transferred from one bank account to another.  Each email transfer requires a question and password. You may provide us the password by emailing us or calling us in order to protect privacy. If you choose to email us please email us at adunham52@gmail.com or the email above. You may also choose to mail a cheque by emailing a request to forward you our mailing address. 

**We apologize that we are unable to provide tax receipts. Any contribultions will be considered a gift.

We understand this is a lot to ask. We are still thankful and grateful for any amount that you are able to contribute. We trust that God will provide all of our needs to complete this adoption. Please pray that God would move mountains to bring our daughter home by June 2013.

If you need any other following information, please feel free to contact us at the above email address or at the following number 709-944-1777 or 709-280-2442.

We thank you with all the love we have in us, 

Ty and Amanda Dunham

Another journey...

 It's been such a long time since I have taken the time to sit down and share my thoughts on my blog. Our journey hasn't stopped. In fact our journey, for us has just become more exciting for us.

Ty and I have begun another journey for 2013. The journey began about a month ago when we received a very important phone call.....

 We received the call around the end of January. It was an extended family member letting us know that there was a little girl that needed a more permanent place to live. So after some much needed prayer, Ty and I knew exactly what we were meant to do on this journey and this next step.....WE ARE ADOPTING!

So fast forward a month....we have began settling with the idea of adopting a little girl into our family and are extremely excited, but along with anything we have ever found in our life comes a lot of red tape and a lot of challenges. Initially we thought that this journey would be simple and easy, it has now become much more complicated and much more expensive then we had originally planned. But we have placed our trust in God that despite the the challenges that may come, he has planned this for our lives.

This is not something we prepared for to happen so quick, but currently this little girl is being well taken care of, but her caregivers are suffering with health conditions and it is becoming difficult for them to care for her and give her the time, attention and energy that she requires. We would really like to have her home by June 2013.

Ty and I have always dreamed of adopting a child. Although we have never found out if we can or cannot have our own children, it was not much of a concern for us, because we always knew that adoption was going to be part or our lives in one form or another. There is no question that God has placed this little girl in our path for a reason.

 As we have seen from our journey before, God has always been faithful and has always provided for us. When we didn't think we could make it another day in a cabin with no shower and no proper heat God came through at just the right time. We are believing and having that faith once again that God will reveal himself and show himself to us once again. We have no doubt, and we ask that you join us in prayer through this journey.

Because this is required to be a private adoption we will have some unexpected expenses with this. We are reaching out to our friends and family and even beyond to help support us through this. This is a difficult thing for us to do. We know that people have their own things going on, and for us to seek support from others is a particularly humbling experience, but God has pushed us beyond our pride and challenged us to put our faith into action.  Please take the time to read the letter that I have included, then if you have any type of desire to give to us in the form of a gift, we will receive your gift with openness and most importantly thankfulness. But most importantly please put us in your prayers as we go through this journey. Your prayers will be the best gift of all.

Every little dollar will count, and we believe if God can take 5 loaves and 5 fishes and multiply that for 5000 people, then he can surely take every little dollar that we save, or that is given to us and multiply it and use it for his glory and at the end of the day bring home this baby girl.

Ty and I have been so excited to share this news with friends and family and it would be so wonderful to bring our baby girl home by June 2013. We would love for you to help us bring her home as well.

Please pray that God will move the mountains for us as we begin another journey. And please feel free to email us at dunhamadoption@gmail.com  with any questions of how you can help make this happen for us.

We are excited for this next step and can't wait to hold this little girl in our arms. Please pray as we journey through this.