I remember a year ago as I was sleeping in a stranger's bed and completely lost as to where my life was going. I know that it is very easy to get back into that same place..the question of where my life is heading. That's where it's at. Where am I going? What am I doing here? Why am I here? Am I the only one that thinks these things?
Ty and I have gone through a lot in the last year, but we still feel like we are stuck in quicksand. Not going anywhere not doing anything. Just living....
That was never what we wanted for our lives. We have wanted to move forward and live our dreams. But this quicksand of bills, house payments, car payments, and life just kinda get in the way. Where are our dreams now? Have we lost them.
Living your dream is not easy...especially when you lose sight of them.
There are so many purposes for us to be where we are at, but we are still confused about those exact purposes. For the last year we have focused on our careers, and pulled back from a lot of the things we once knew. We have made friends but still isolate ourselves a lot (even when we don't really want to). Sometimes I wonder if we are just living too much in the past? Are we hoping for our friends and family from back home to come into Labrador City? Are we hoping for the same type of church? For the same type of environment Because if we are, we are going to get discouraged, because bottom line is things are different here, and they always will be. We have a different life, and different friends, and different careers. Not that any of this is bad, but sometimes it's hard to not want to step back and go back into the "comfortable". Into the place that we knew, into the careers we knew, into the life we knew. But is that what living dreams are about?
It's kind of like our spiritual lives. People for so long live in the comfort of their spiritual lives and don't move. They don't reach out to all the possibilities that God could have before them. We get stuck in the past, so when things change in the future, we get angry. We get angry with God mostly. God tries to move us to new things by presenting new challenges in our lives but we resist it because we don't want to leave our comfort zone. Those challenges sometimes suck. They bring us to crossroads where we have to decide things and we seek out guidance, but feel like we are all alone and God is not answering our call. So then we stay where we are. We don't move anywhere, because what's the point. If we move from this place, there could be new challenges around that corner, and there could be breakdowns and meltdowns. We could feel lost...so in order to avoid all those troubled thoughts and fears, we stay put...hoping that the storm will pass us by, and we will not be forced to "move" from our quicksand.
So here we are...in a place where everything continues to constantly change. Where there is constant learning and constant challenging, but what is my response??...well right now I want to go back to where it was comfortable. A time when I didn't have to face challenging questions in my life. Where I didn't have to ask myself or God "is this all there is?" or "what else can I do?" or "where do I go from here?". It's the crossroad.....it's the place that we all try to avoid at one time or another. We don't want to go down either road so we just stand still..and maybe eventually someone else will make the choice for us, or we will just get stuck deeper in that quicksand and not be able to go anywhere.
But what happens when you eventually want to move out of that quicksand? How do you finally get unstuck? You still don't know if you want to move to the right or the left, but you know you want out. It's the feeling that your not moving forward despite wanting to. You just have no idea where to go from here. You are just stuck in the "comfortable"...usually all alone to make up your own mind, and to figure out for yourself how to get out. You can call on God, but the only answer you get from him is that "you can choose either road, and I will still love you. It doesn't matter what road you take as long as you are following after me". God just wants us to keep chasing him. And perhaps that's how we get unstuck from our quicksand, is that we keep chasing him? That we never give up and look back no matter what road we decide to take. He's on both roads. He's there cheering us on through the race despite how much we may be unhappy with our own choices. Eventually he will give us another crossroad, and we may get stuck again, but we can find hope that we will always be able to get unstuck
I don't want to remain in a comfort zone of life, or spiritual life. Therefore I can't stop walking. I have to keep moving forward no matter what the crossroad might bring. I have to keep following "the light". Just keep moving. Just keep going forward, and stop looking behind me..no matter how comfortable it might seem.
So are you looking forward or ahead? Have you gotten stuck and want to become unstuck? How do you become unstuck? It's the challenge each of us faces. So what do we do about it?
About Me
- AJ
- I'm on an adventure to live my dreams. As I go on this journey I may be inspired to write, to cook, to craft, to travel more, whatever it is, I'm enjoying it as I'm lead there.
Tuesday 11 September 2012
Sunday 29 April 2012
I'm not shy, I'm an introvert
I"M NOT SHY! I"M AN INTROVERT!!! Yes there is a difference. My closest friends, family and my husband, I'm sure can attest to that.
I was always labeled from a very young age as "shy". I hated it, I still hate it, but often not sure why I hate it so much. It's probably because I have a longing for deep connections..I want to push myself, and I want to talk to people. I enjoy people, and I love getting to know someone, but I have a dilemma..which is actually a strength in many areas: my introverted personality.
There are certain things as an introvert that I hate to hear:
1. Just overcome it...
2. Push yourself
3. It's good for you to be around people
4. You need to just do it and step outside your comfort zone...
5. Just be confident and be yourself..of course people will like you...
I think those type of comments always come from an extrovert. So when I can't just do those things I feel as if I have failed. I feel guilty because when I'm not talking I must appear as not a very nice person. Why can't I just be comfortable in my introverted skin? Why can't I just be allowed to be introverted and respected because of it? You might understand that feeling. Always feeling exhausted because you have to push yourself beyond your limits, always feeling like people are judging you because you are horrible at small talk, or feeling like you are coming across to a person as not being open or talkative..or worst of all SHY..because you haven't come into a party trying to be the center of attention.
The thing about an introvert is that they crave community, and they crave intimate times (just ike a real person..imagine that). Feeling rejuvenated for an introvert comes from an intimate close conversation or time alone to think or write, or just spending time sitting silently with someone who understands you. Believe it or not, I'm one of the loud ones when I'm around the right people. Those friends that have known me for a long time have a hard time even seeing me as an introvert. But that's what I need. I need to be comfortable with people...but not a lot of people. I'd rather be with one person the rest of my life that I felt completely comfortable with rather then 30 people that I can only know limited things about.
As a counsellor, I listen to people. I give them time to talk to me. For some clients they don't need much time, they already know what they want to tell me, and for others they aren't even exactly sure why they are there. That's ok. I respect that. Sometimes I sit in silence with that person, just waiting until they can talk. Sometimes I explore other ways of communicating to me through art, or email, or music. The introverted person needs time. They need someone to understand them. They need to feel safe, and they need to feel accepted for who they are. So if they are not coming right out and sharing all their emotional thoughts, if they don't cry at sad stories, if they don't show up to all the parties that you invited them to it's not because they don't trust you, it's not because they are insensitive and it's not because they are antisocial.
So here's my thought that I'm struggling with: Churches seem to be meant for the extroverted personalities. Where does the introverted Christian belong? How does the introverted Christian find a place?
Get me in front of a crowd to lead worship, and it's like no one else is in the room but me and God. Get me around a bunch of youth and tell me to lead the night...to that I say "bring it".
But ask me to socialize around the coffee table, or hang out after church in a big group of people, or the ever hated turn around and shake hands for 5 minutes during the middle of a service, I cringe and my whole body will tighten up in dislike (that's what counsellors may even refer to as anxiety). If we expect the introverted person to make a connection during those 5 or 10 minutes we are expecting way too much of that personality. It's a personality trait that I have had since I was young and to change that in a blink of 10 minutes is like asking someone to erase everything they know and understand.
So how can the church represent and work with these introverted personalities? How can us introverted find our place in the church? How can we connect with people in ways that we feel comfortable doing?
Well I'm going to begin reading a book on this very topic, and will be anxious to share some more thoughts after reading it, but also would like to find out what your thoughts are on this. Please share. :)
I was always labeled from a very young age as "shy". I hated it, I still hate it, but often not sure why I hate it so much. It's probably because I have a longing for deep connections..I want to push myself, and I want to talk to people. I enjoy people, and I love getting to know someone, but I have a dilemma..which is actually a strength in many areas: my introverted personality.
There are certain things as an introvert that I hate to hear:
1. Just overcome it...
2. Push yourself
3. It's good for you to be around people
4. You need to just do it and step outside your comfort zone...
5. Just be confident and be yourself..of course people will like you...
I think those type of comments always come from an extrovert. So when I can't just do those things I feel as if I have failed. I feel guilty because when I'm not talking I must appear as not a very nice person. Why can't I just be comfortable in my introverted skin? Why can't I just be allowed to be introverted and respected because of it? You might understand that feeling. Always feeling exhausted because you have to push yourself beyond your limits, always feeling like people are judging you because you are horrible at small talk, or feeling like you are coming across to a person as not being open or talkative..or worst of all SHY..because you haven't come into a party trying to be the center of attention.
The thing about an introvert is that they crave community, and they crave intimate times (just ike a real person..imagine that). Feeling rejuvenated for an introvert comes from an intimate close conversation or time alone to think or write, or just spending time sitting silently with someone who understands you. Believe it or not, I'm one of the loud ones when I'm around the right people. Those friends that have known me for a long time have a hard time even seeing me as an introvert. But that's what I need. I need to be comfortable with people...but not a lot of people. I'd rather be with one person the rest of my life that I felt completely comfortable with rather then 30 people that I can only know limited things about.
As a counsellor, I listen to people. I give them time to talk to me. For some clients they don't need much time, they already know what they want to tell me, and for others they aren't even exactly sure why they are there. That's ok. I respect that. Sometimes I sit in silence with that person, just waiting until they can talk. Sometimes I explore other ways of communicating to me through art, or email, or music. The introverted person needs time. They need someone to understand them. They need to feel safe, and they need to feel accepted for who they are. So if they are not coming right out and sharing all their emotional thoughts, if they don't cry at sad stories, if they don't show up to all the parties that you invited them to it's not because they don't trust you, it's not because they are insensitive and it's not because they are antisocial.
So here's my thought that I'm struggling with: Churches seem to be meant for the extroverted personalities. Where does the introverted Christian belong? How does the introverted Christian find a place?
Get me in front of a crowd to lead worship, and it's like no one else is in the room but me and God. Get me around a bunch of youth and tell me to lead the night...to that I say "bring it".
But ask me to socialize around the coffee table, or hang out after church in a big group of people, or the ever hated turn around and shake hands for 5 minutes during the middle of a service, I cringe and my whole body will tighten up in dislike (that's what counsellors may even refer to as anxiety). If we expect the introverted person to make a connection during those 5 or 10 minutes we are expecting way too much of that personality. It's a personality trait that I have had since I was young and to change that in a blink of 10 minutes is like asking someone to erase everything they know and understand.
So how can the church represent and work with these introverted personalities? How can us introverted find our place in the church? How can we connect with people in ways that we feel comfortable doing?
Well I'm going to begin reading a book on this very topic, and will be anxious to share some more thoughts after reading it, but also would like to find out what your thoughts are on this. Please share. :)
Saturday 25 February 2012
Searching for my song
So I posted on my facebook status this morning that I was feeling lonesome but don't know for what. At first I thought it must be my family, and yes of course I do miss them but I really miss them all the time, not just sometimes. It's like something has been missing. So then I went to the house/ Moncton city life maybe??? Was that it, is that what I could be missing.
But then just a couple of hours ago it struck me, all day (once I was done my ritual Saturday cleaning of course) I was sitting on this computer or watching some TV just wasting away so much good quality time. Quality time that I could be using for so much more.
To back up what I said in my last post, I have been wondering about myself. Since moving to a new province, having no connection here whatsoever and meeting all new people I've been learning about myself, and wondering what Ty and I are to be doing here. We both know that our only purpose in moving here was certainly not to just get a job. We had no idea about what type of a "boom" town we were moving into until we were only a month away from coming here. But here we are, all settled into our house, with electricity and water, and now it's just life as normal. An opportunity for me to be doing and thinking about so much more.
So it hit me, as I stared into mirror..when was the last time I picked up my guitar and started playing and singing? or even writing? Since I was around 10 years old music has been a huge part of my life, so now I'm in a career, and feel somewhat settled should I abandon it. Music is a part of me. I remember when I would put on "concerts" for my parents and bang on that guitar like I was the best thing around making up words as I went along and singing at the top of my lungs like the whole world really wanted to hear me sing.
When we left Moncton, a great fella from our church asked Ty and I if we had any You Tube videos or anything..I laughed..quite a bit...I am past the point of wanting to be a rock star, but it certainly was flattering.
I remember the first time I sung in church, and I remember the first time I picked up the guitar and actually learned my first chord, and I can still play the first song that I ever wrote...a typical D C and G type song. I remember the first time I lead worship with a real band, and then I remember my first "real" band FLUFFO as we called ourselves. But as I sit here today I realize that somewhere along this journey I stopped picking up the guitar and just playing for fun, playing just to worship on my own time, and playing just cause I love the feel of that music coming from the guitar hitting every corner of my being. Music for me has been a language between God and I. It's more then singing and playing other people's songs, but it's about communicating with God on a whole new level.
I think somewhere in that sound is my many songs to God. Perhaps this is why I have felt lonesome cause I'm missing out on that communication with the one that matters most in my life. For so long I was leading worship every Sunday and playing my guitar every chance I had, so now that I'm on "sabbatical" I suppose you could say, I'm missing prime opportunities to make it about just God and I singing together writing beautiful songs. Even if it's not anything I record or anything I sing in church, it's about the communication.
I believe that everyone has a communication with God in their own way. I believe it is with that communication that we not only get to know God better but we get to know ourselves. So maybe that's what I've been missing, and maybe that's how I can go back to who I really am and not feel ashamed of it. The world can clouds our thoughts, and distract us from things that really give us confidence and the knowledge of who God has genuinely created us to be. As we get distracted with careers and bills, and friends and family and being accepted and gossip and whatever else there might be perhaps if we just start communicating clearly again in our proper language we can find who we really are, or at least begin the search over again.
But then just a couple of hours ago it struck me, all day (once I was done my ritual Saturday cleaning of course) I was sitting on this computer or watching some TV just wasting away so much good quality time. Quality time that I could be using for so much more.
To back up what I said in my last post, I have been wondering about myself. Since moving to a new province, having no connection here whatsoever and meeting all new people I've been learning about myself, and wondering what Ty and I are to be doing here. We both know that our only purpose in moving here was certainly not to just get a job. We had no idea about what type of a "boom" town we were moving into until we were only a month away from coming here. But here we are, all settled into our house, with electricity and water, and now it's just life as normal. An opportunity for me to be doing and thinking about so much more.
So it hit me, as I stared into mirror..when was the last time I picked up my guitar and started playing and singing? or even writing? Since I was around 10 years old music has been a huge part of my life, so now I'm in a career, and feel somewhat settled should I abandon it. Music is a part of me. I remember when I would put on "concerts" for my parents and bang on that guitar like I was the best thing around making up words as I went along and singing at the top of my lungs like the whole world really wanted to hear me sing.
When we left Moncton, a great fella from our church asked Ty and I if we had any You Tube videos or anything..I laughed..quite a bit...I am past the point of wanting to be a rock star, but it certainly was flattering.
I remember the first time I sung in church, and I remember the first time I picked up the guitar and actually learned my first chord, and I can still play the first song that I ever wrote...a typical D C and G type song. I remember the first time I lead worship with a real band, and then I remember my first "real" band FLUFFO as we called ourselves. But as I sit here today I realize that somewhere along this journey I stopped picking up the guitar and just playing for fun, playing just to worship on my own time, and playing just cause I love the feel of that music coming from the guitar hitting every corner of my being. Music for me has been a language between God and I. It's more then singing and playing other people's songs, but it's about communicating with God on a whole new level.
I think somewhere in that sound is my many songs to God. Perhaps this is why I have felt lonesome cause I'm missing out on that communication with the one that matters most in my life. For so long I was leading worship every Sunday and playing my guitar every chance I had, so now that I'm on "sabbatical" I suppose you could say, I'm missing prime opportunities to make it about just God and I singing together writing beautiful songs. Even if it's not anything I record or anything I sing in church, it's about the communication.
I believe that everyone has a communication with God in their own way. I believe it is with that communication that we not only get to know God better but we get to know ourselves. So maybe that's what I've been missing, and maybe that's how I can go back to who I really am and not feel ashamed of it. The world can clouds our thoughts, and distract us from things that really give us confidence and the knowledge of who God has genuinely created us to be. As we get distracted with careers and bills, and friends and family and being accepted and gossip and whatever else there might be perhaps if we just start communicating clearly again in our proper language we can find who we really are, or at least begin the search over again.
Sunday 19 February 2012
Just to add....
Just read an awesome quote from someone I don't know, but quoted by an amazing person in my life that I thought was really intriguing...
"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you are not"
Just an added thought I suppose......
"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you are not"
Just an added thought I suppose......
Lost in comparisons
READ THIS LINK FIRST!
So as much as I enjoy and love the new pinterest addiction that I have, I'm wondering if it is taking me off who I really am. Am I an artist??? Even though I certainly did try a nice new art project today (referenced by Pinterest), or am I a cook?? or am I actually organized??? or am I really simply trying to live up to what a woman of my age "should" be.
I have never really known if I ever wanted children. (Even before I met my husband). I have always had a heart for the lost who have no homes, fostering or adopting. Any time I would hear one of those stories I would tear up, but even that right now frightens me, and I wonder if I ever really want to be a mother or mother figure..I have a hard enough time being a wife... But here I am 28 years old, and I'm still trying to figure it all out. And trying not to feel the pressure of the world of what I "should" do. I know that I LOVE music, I love worshipping, and I love funky things that everyone probably looks at me and thinks...Amanda?? umm...maybe you shouldn't be wearing that, or doing that... or painting that??? etc...etc....
I met a woman last week who would speak her mind no matter what..didn't care what anyone thought. She said she didn't care to chat about the "little" things, but the only things she was interested in was to sit with someone "drink, smoke and talk about relationships" she said as she laughed with not a care in the world. Ok, no that's not who I am, but I did like how she knew what she wanted and what she wanted to do. But don't get me wrong, I think this same woman took a long time to get there.
I've always wanted to help young girls who are struggling with who they are, struggling with what God wants for their lives, struggling with relationships, or their self esteem, stuff like that, but I'm not sure if I can do it until I know who I am, and not needing to compare myself to those around me.
I just don't want to "fit" in. I want to not feel the need to compare, conform, or to adapt. I want to feel secure in what and who I am, and I want to take interest in what other women do, but not feel the need to do it the "exact" same way...I want my creativity and my individuality to speak for itself.
Thursday 26 January 2012
The timeline....
Wow..this is hilarious and awesome at the same time. I was looking back on my FACEBOOK Timeline (which is a neat way to reminisce), and I came across this note. I wish I could have read this several months ago, and I would have been reminded that God provides. I wish I would just learn the first time and not have gone through the same doubts over and over.
This letter was written before we moved to PEI and shortly after we got married (2007). We were on our way to move to the big town of Kensington (insert sarcasm here) and were in no way able to purchase a house. We were at a point where we had no idea where we were gonna live in this small town. (sound familiar???) I guess I was just on the verge of growing up and learning things about God..but here I am still learning, and being reminded.
So why is it that we continue to have to go through things time and time again (sometimes almost the most identical things). Why can't we all get it through our thick skulls that we can trust in God? How do the same reminders keep coming back time and time again?
Maybe I have REALLY learned my lesson this time. Maybe this time I can know that God provides all of our needs..including a house...even if it's with time, and challenges along the way.
How many times do you need to be slapped in the face by God to be reminded? How many times do you go through similar things in order to be taught a good lesson? Am I the only one here...????
Read on.....
So yeah....God provides all our needs. That house was the starting point for our lives. And I don't think I really knew until today, how much God was trying to teach me back then. Perhaps I was too absorb with new married life, new dog, new community, new job, that I took my eyes off the most important thing, how God provided for us.
So will I forgot again our experience in Labrador? Well it's very easy to forgot, but I try to keep reminding myself. I try to wake up and jump in my shower every morning, and thank God. I try to thank God every time I turn on my dishwasher, or go in and sit on my couch in a nice warm house. But that's it I believe..you do have to remind yourself, you have to look back sometimes to realize where you have been and now where you can go and what you can do with that teaching. Hmmm...perhaps God has finally gotten through my thick skull??
This letter was written before we moved to PEI and shortly after we got married (2007). We were on our way to move to the big town of Kensington (insert sarcasm here) and were in no way able to purchase a house. We were at a point where we had no idea where we were gonna live in this small town. (sound familiar???) I guess I was just on the verge of growing up and learning things about God..but here I am still learning, and being reminded.
So why is it that we continue to have to go through things time and time again (sometimes almost the most identical things). Why can't we all get it through our thick skulls that we can trust in God? How do the same reminders keep coming back time and time again?
Maybe I have REALLY learned my lesson this time. Maybe this time I can know that God provides all of our needs..including a house...even if it's with time, and challenges along the way.
How many times do you need to be slapped in the face by God to be reminded? How many times do you go through similar things in order to be taught a good lesson? Am I the only one here...????
Read on.....
My Dilemna
by Amanda Dunham on Thursday, April 5, 2007 at 11:22pm
It's weird. Everything has been put into place..well except for a new place. Tyler got accepted into Journalism at Holland College in PEI, and today I got my job with flying colors. So now we really would need a place to live, and we need to know that it is going to be convienent and affordable. We really want to get a dog and be able to have good living arrangements. This is the problem with moving into a small town, smaller choice.
The point is, the job provides a lot of opportunity. I can teach Kindergarden and grow even more into a teaching profession. I really love what I'm doing and do want to grow. This is an excellent opportunity. I just hate making mistakes.
So what I'm asking, is that if you believe in God, or even if you don't say a little prayer for Tyler and I, that things will come together the way they are supposed to.
We know what we want for a house and for a life, (at least for the next 2 years) but really hope that it will all happen with no regrets.
Thank you for listening, and most definatly thank you for the positive feeling that we will recieve back for all of this.
Amanda
The point is, the job provides a lot of opportunity. I can teach Kindergarden and grow even more into a teaching profession. I really love what I'm doing and do want to grow. This is an excellent opportunity. I just hate making mistakes.
So what I'm asking, is that if you believe in God, or even if you don't say a little prayer for Tyler and I, that things will come together the way they are supposed to.
We know what we want for a house and for a life, (at least for the next 2 years) but really hope that it will all happen with no regrets.
Thank you for listening, and most definatly thank you for the positive feeling that we will recieve back for all of this.
Amanda
So now...let's fast forward a few months from that letter....as you can see in this photo below...God provided....(of course he did)
Look at this back yard...we were blessed..we went from a one bedroom apartment to this small but more then adequate house with a lovely back yard....
And out of this came another wonderful blessing in our lives.... She was my princess then and she still is...oh Jazz. Sounds ridiculous to some, but Ty and I can't imagine our lives without her. Wasn't she the cutest puppy??
So yeah....God provides all our needs. That house was the starting point for our lives. And I don't think I really knew until today, how much God was trying to teach me back then. Perhaps I was too absorb with new married life, new dog, new community, new job, that I took my eyes off the most important thing, how God provided for us.
So will I forgot again our experience in Labrador? Well it's very easy to forgot, but I try to keep reminding myself. I try to wake up and jump in my shower every morning, and thank God. I try to thank God every time I turn on my dishwasher, or go in and sit on my couch in a nice warm house. But that's it I believe..you do have to remind yourself, you have to look back sometimes to realize where you have been and now where you can go and what you can do with that teaching. Hmmm...perhaps God has finally gotten through my thick skull??
Saturday 21 January 2012
Survival of the fittest
You ever walk into a room, and immediately just look for a safe spot to sit?? A spot where nothing or no one will really notice you, and you can just sort of blend in. That's me. I stand back, scope the place out, see who would be sitting around me, wonder if they are friendly. I also try to check out and make sure that I can appear comfortable but on the inside I'm aching with uncomfortable feelings. I've got so many thoughts racing, and I've got so many mixed emotions. My stomach is usually in knots, and I'm usually sweating like crazy. I'm trying hard just to keep my head low, but at the point where I can still appear approachable.
APPROACHABLE...there's the key word for me. I don't want to look like I don't want to meet anyone, but I know that I'm not super comfortable just to start randomly walking up to people I've never seen before in my life. If someone were to walk up to me and start chatting, I would start chatting with them like as if I knew them my whole life. I listen and ask questions, that's what I do for a living, once I'm approached the chatting is not hard to do. And in my role you soon learn that most people are ok with talking about themselves once they are given permission.
Now different situation, put me in a small group, or in a leadership role of any type, I'm going to make every effort I can to make everyone else not feel uncomfortable. I'm going to help people feel important, and hopefully "break the ice".
You would think at my age, that meeting and making new friends becomes all natural and easy. I mean I should be confident and secure in myself by now right and be able to approach anyone? Well for some people, they probably just have always been good at it, but if your like me, it's always been a push. It doesn't just come naturally like others. And now I'm at a stage in my life, where I wonder if because I consider my husband my best friend, and I have my two "kids" to take care of, if I've become comfortable with that.
I went to University where I didn't know anyone. I had to just learn to survive on my own. And I did. In my first year I met one of my best friends, who still remains that way. She is one of my main go to people. And my other best friend, well I had known her since I was young, and we immediately got reacquainted there in town. I still even had to get to know her all over again. So from those two, we met a few other people, some at church, and some at school, but we got comfortable.
I recall sitting together with my three friends during supper at the University Cafeteria, and there were more chairs at the table, but normally we sat just us 4 and we were happy with that. Were we unapproachable? Were we wrapped up in our own little friendship that we didn't let anyone else in? It's hard to recall what people may have thought of us, but now I wonder if as you age, and you get married, if people assume that you don't need anyone else and you become unapproachable. Yeah you might know a few other people, and you might acquaint yourself with them, but really overall, you are just comfortable with your significant other, and therefore unless you can find another couple who conveniently has all the same interests as you and your husband, and you somehow have all the same senses of humor you just go out treading water on your own. So then you have children (or dogs in my case) and they become your world. Your home is child and/ or dog friendly, and so then unless you meet other couples who has a child that yours can be best friends with, so they grow up having someone in their lives that they are close to, and the parents are close and friendly and enjoy each other's company, but it's never the same as when you met that first best friend back in University. (now perhaps this is a different scenario then with dogs :)
So what am I getting at? Well how do I appear approachable, even though I'm happily married with two wonderful dogs? How do we meet new people naturally? Do we have to have kids? Do we need dogs? And although I'm never expecting to replace any friendships that I already have (because even with distance, I always feel close to them), is it possible to reconnect with people in the same way that we did back in University, when you had relationships, and school work, and fashions and stuff to talk about.
I will always remember how I met my husband. My best friend and I went to church, and on the way out the door, a group of guys came and APPROACHED us and tried to find out some stuff about us, and asked us to hang out. Sure there was ulterior motives, but they approached us. And if you asked my friend today, she would think that we were not exactly the most approachable people. But here we were, people wanted to make friends, guys wanted to meet new girls. So what now? I've been married for 5 years, and have moved around, and met many different wonderful people, but have never really developed the same types of relationships like I had in University. Does this mean I'm unapproachable? Does this mean that I'm just too comfortable? Does this mean I compare too much?
I would love to be able to just walk up to someone and say "blah blah blah..would you be my friend?" like we did back in the old school days. But that's just probably not acceptable anymore. Plus my personality doesn't do well with it. Have I lost my survival instinct? When we first arrived in Labrador the first thing we did was go to church, where we could be around people and try to look "normal" despite our living circumstances. We are here now, and we are living a more normal life with a house and our own bed, but we are still far from normal. Our survival instincts have to click in a new way. We are not trying to survive with water and heat, but trying to blend into our surroundings, and feel as if we have been here our whole lives. We need to give ourselves some time, and we need to allow ourselves opportunity, so for now I suppose I'm just trying to appear approachable.
So for those of you who are trained "APPROACHERS", well please understand that there's always more then meets the eye, one step out could mean a significant lasting friendship (even if that person doesn't seem so approachable at first). And the next time you are like me, and you get a whole sense of anxiety over meeting new people, and a simple thing of trying to choose a place to sit becomes a big deal, just take a deep breath, look around...your not going to replace your other friends, your just going to reconnect with new ones, even if its over having to wipe a baby's bum, or pick up dog poop. It's a battle ground out there, and only the fittest survive.
Thus begins PHASE 2 of our journey.......
APPROACHABLE...there's the key word for me. I don't want to look like I don't want to meet anyone, but I know that I'm not super comfortable just to start randomly walking up to people I've never seen before in my life. If someone were to walk up to me and start chatting, I would start chatting with them like as if I knew them my whole life. I listen and ask questions, that's what I do for a living, once I'm approached the chatting is not hard to do. And in my role you soon learn that most people are ok with talking about themselves once they are given permission.
Now different situation, put me in a small group, or in a leadership role of any type, I'm going to make every effort I can to make everyone else not feel uncomfortable. I'm going to help people feel important, and hopefully "break the ice".
You would think at my age, that meeting and making new friends becomes all natural and easy. I mean I should be confident and secure in myself by now right and be able to approach anyone? Well for some people, they probably just have always been good at it, but if your like me, it's always been a push. It doesn't just come naturally like others. And now I'm at a stage in my life, where I wonder if because I consider my husband my best friend, and I have my two "kids" to take care of, if I've become comfortable with that.
I went to University where I didn't know anyone. I had to just learn to survive on my own. And I did. In my first year I met one of my best friends, who still remains that way. She is one of my main go to people. And my other best friend, well I had known her since I was young, and we immediately got reacquainted there in town. I still even had to get to know her all over again. So from those two, we met a few other people, some at church, and some at school, but we got comfortable.
I recall sitting together with my three friends during supper at the University Cafeteria, and there were more chairs at the table, but normally we sat just us 4 and we were happy with that. Were we unapproachable? Were we wrapped up in our own little friendship that we didn't let anyone else in? It's hard to recall what people may have thought of us, but now I wonder if as you age, and you get married, if people assume that you don't need anyone else and you become unapproachable. Yeah you might know a few other people, and you might acquaint yourself with them, but really overall, you are just comfortable with your significant other, and therefore unless you can find another couple who conveniently has all the same interests as you and your husband, and you somehow have all the same senses of humor you just go out treading water on your own. So then you have children (or dogs in my case) and they become your world. Your home is child and/ or dog friendly, and so then unless you meet other couples who has a child that yours can be best friends with, so they grow up having someone in their lives that they are close to, and the parents are close and friendly and enjoy each other's company, but it's never the same as when you met that first best friend back in University. (now perhaps this is a different scenario then with dogs :)
So what am I getting at? Well how do I appear approachable, even though I'm happily married with two wonderful dogs? How do we meet new people naturally? Do we have to have kids? Do we need dogs? And although I'm never expecting to replace any friendships that I already have (because even with distance, I always feel close to them), is it possible to reconnect with people in the same way that we did back in University, when you had relationships, and school work, and fashions and stuff to talk about.
I will always remember how I met my husband. My best friend and I went to church, and on the way out the door, a group of guys came and APPROACHED us and tried to find out some stuff about us, and asked us to hang out. Sure there was ulterior motives, but they approached us. And if you asked my friend today, she would think that we were not exactly the most approachable people. But here we were, people wanted to make friends, guys wanted to meet new girls. So what now? I've been married for 5 years, and have moved around, and met many different wonderful people, but have never really developed the same types of relationships like I had in University. Does this mean I'm unapproachable? Does this mean that I'm just too comfortable? Does this mean I compare too much?
I would love to be able to just walk up to someone and say "blah blah blah..would you be my friend?" like we did back in the old school days. But that's just probably not acceptable anymore. Plus my personality doesn't do well with it. Have I lost my survival instinct? When we first arrived in Labrador the first thing we did was go to church, where we could be around people and try to look "normal" despite our living circumstances. We are here now, and we are living a more normal life with a house and our own bed, but we are still far from normal. Our survival instincts have to click in a new way. We are not trying to survive with water and heat, but trying to blend into our surroundings, and feel as if we have been here our whole lives. We need to give ourselves some time, and we need to allow ourselves opportunity, so for now I suppose I'm just trying to appear approachable.
So for those of you who are trained "APPROACHERS", well please understand that there's always more then meets the eye, one step out could mean a significant lasting friendship (even if that person doesn't seem so approachable at first). And the next time you are like me, and you get a whole sense of anxiety over meeting new people, and a simple thing of trying to choose a place to sit becomes a big deal, just take a deep breath, look around...your not going to replace your other friends, your just going to reconnect with new ones, even if its over having to wipe a baby's bum, or pick up dog poop. It's a battle ground out there, and only the fittest survive.
Thus begins PHASE 2 of our journey.......
Saturday 14 January 2012
Some good treats for later...
Every year I usually try some new yummies for Christmas, and even though Christmas is long over, and all the sweets are gone, these are treats that could be made any time of the year. So I thought I would share some of my treats that I tried.
I love sugar way more then I probably should, but at Christmas time especially. These treats I'm already thinking about making again. Chocolate chip cookie dough truffles. Biggest issue with these was it was hard to coat them in chocolate. I found the best way was to play the dough on a spoon and then dip, but then you don't get that perfect truffle look. But they all tasted the same way going down. And I LOVE chocolate chip cookie dough. This way it's safe and delicious to eat.
Here is the recipe link:
http://www.loveandoliveoil.com/2010/01/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-truffles.html
My discovery has been that there are so many chocolate chip cookie dough recipes, so my fun is just beginning.
Chocolate Cookie Dough Truffles
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/3 cup milk or soy milk
1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
14 oz dark chocolate candy coating
directions:
Beat butter and sugars and in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add soymilk and vanilla. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt and mix on low speed (or by hand) until incorporated. Stir in chocolate chips.
Cover and chill dough for 1 hour.
When dough is firm enough to handle (it may help to lightly flour your hands), form dough into 1" balls and arrange on a baking sheet lined with waxed paper. Place sheets in freezer and let chill for 30 minutes.
Melt chocolate candy coating in a double boiler or in microwave according to package directions. Using forks or a dipping tool, dip cookie balls into candy coating to cover. Tap fork on side of pan to remove any excess coating, and return to waxed paper-lined baking sheets. Chill until set. Store, chilled, in an airtight container for up to 1 week (though good luck making them last that long).
My next experience was snowball cookies ( www.anutinanutshell.com ). But not the newfie type of snowballs (which I do hope to try at some point). These did not make a big batch for me.
Ingredients
1 cup butter
1/2 cup sifted powdered sugar
1 tsp McCormick pure vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup finely chopped nuts (optional, but recommended)
Directions
1. Mix butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla thoroughly.
2. Stir flour and salt together; blend in. If adding nuts, mix those in as well.
3. Roll dough in 1-inch balls, and place on ungreased baking sheet.
4. Bake 10 to 12 minutes at 400 degrees, or until set but not brown.
5. While still warm, roll in powdered sugar. Cool completely, and then roll in powdered sugar again.
**These were a tasty treat with some tea or coffee. Not really sweet, which is nice sometimes. The one mistake was I used margarine instead of butter. They should have been lighter and fluffier.
Finally I decided to roast my own almonds.
http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/candied-almonds/
I made my own adjustments to this recipe as some of the ingredients I didn't have. But for the most part they were done as the recipe states. These were addictive and tasty. It made a whole lot of them. Big thing is to keep them fresh, so make sure they are in a good container.
I love sugar way more then I probably should, but at Christmas time especially. These treats I'm already thinking about making again. Chocolate chip cookie dough truffles. Biggest issue with these was it was hard to coat them in chocolate. I found the best way was to play the dough on a spoon and then dip, but then you don't get that perfect truffle look. But they all tasted the same way going down. And I LOVE chocolate chip cookie dough. This way it's safe and delicious to eat.
Here is the recipe link:
http://www.loveandoliveoil.com/2010/01/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-truffles.html
My discovery has been that there are so many chocolate chip cookie dough recipes, so my fun is just beginning.
Chocolate Cookie Dough Truffles
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/3 cup milk or soy milk
1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
14 oz dark chocolate candy coating
directions:
Beat butter and sugars and in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add soymilk and vanilla. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt and mix on low speed (or by hand) until incorporated. Stir in chocolate chips.
Cover and chill dough for 1 hour.
When dough is firm enough to handle (it may help to lightly flour your hands), form dough into 1" balls and arrange on a baking sheet lined with waxed paper. Place sheets in freezer and let chill for 30 minutes.
Melt chocolate candy coating in a double boiler or in microwave according to package directions. Using forks or a dipping tool, dip cookie balls into candy coating to cover. Tap fork on side of pan to remove any excess coating, and return to waxed paper-lined baking sheets. Chill until set. Store, chilled, in an airtight container for up to 1 week (though good luck making them last that long).
My next experience was snowball cookies ( www.anutinanutshell.com ). But not the newfie type of snowballs (which I do hope to try at some point). These did not make a big batch for me.
Ingredients
1 cup butter
1/2 cup sifted powdered sugar
1 tsp McCormick pure vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup finely chopped nuts (optional, but recommended)
Directions
1. Mix butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla thoroughly.
2. Stir flour and salt together; blend in. If adding nuts, mix those in as well.
3. Roll dough in 1-inch balls, and place on ungreased baking sheet.
4. Bake 10 to 12 minutes at 400 degrees, or until set but not brown.
5. While still warm, roll in powdered sugar. Cool completely, and then roll in powdered sugar again.
**These were a tasty treat with some tea or coffee. Not really sweet, which is nice sometimes. The one mistake was I used margarine instead of butter. They should have been lighter and fluffier.
Finally I decided to roast my own almonds.
http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/candied-almonds/
I made my own adjustments to this recipe as some of the ingredients I didn't have. But for the most part they were done as the recipe states. These were addictive and tasty. It made a whole lot of them. Big thing is to keep them fresh, so make sure they are in a good container.
Wednesday 11 January 2012
Back to Living....
After a much needed trip home, and visit with family and friends, and well let's be honest, some major shopping, we are back to life. We essentially said Goodbye to our life in Moncton as we knew it. Our house from back there is gone, and we drove by to cut our ties (it's amazing how attached you can get to something...even if it's just a house). We loved being back there, around people that we were more then comfortable around, and we shed tears when we left, but it was a joyful feeling to come home to my own bed! To know that we were going to our new to us home.
So what am I going to write about now, where does this blog go from here? Well our journey is far from over. We are happy to be just living now, and now being able to live normally, but we are far from normal. Our journey always has curves and challenges, and I never think that we are done of this journey.
So as part of our continuing journey I would like to include the things that I think about, the things that we do, the culture of Labrador, and the ever creative side of our brains. We will now get back to more writing, more creativity, and one thing that we really want to do more of now is cooking.
This blog could take an interesting twist, one that I'm very excited about. I don't want it to just be about us either, I want it to be about life in general and how we are all common in our living, and I want to make it interesting. I want people to take something from it, and think...or act...or something along those lines.
Any ideas on how to make this blog more interesting and creative?? I'm open.....
So onto a new year, onto new thoughts, new happenings, new corners to turn, and new adventures to go on! I'm excited for what may be coming! I feel like I'm prepared to face anything now!!! My eyes have been opened, and my heart has been changed.
So what am I going to write about now, where does this blog go from here? Well our journey is far from over. We are happy to be just living now, and now being able to live normally, but we are far from normal. Our journey always has curves and challenges, and I never think that we are done of this journey.
So as part of our continuing journey I would like to include the things that I think about, the things that we do, the culture of Labrador, and the ever creative side of our brains. We will now get back to more writing, more creativity, and one thing that we really want to do more of now is cooking.
This blog could take an interesting twist, one that I'm very excited about. I don't want it to just be about us either, I want it to be about life in general and how we are all common in our living, and I want to make it interesting. I want people to take something from it, and think...or act...or something along those lines.
Any ideas on how to make this blog more interesting and creative?? I'm open.....
So onto a new year, onto new thoughts, new happenings, new corners to turn, and new adventures to go on! I'm excited for what may be coming! I feel like I'm prepared to face anything now!!! My eyes have been opened, and my heart has been changed.
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