As we wait....

In my last post about waiting, it was difficult. It was on of the low points on the roller coaster. After writing that post we have been doing much thinking, and many people have spoken into our lives in a number of ways. First of all we now know for sure that people are praying for us, and it works. Also we have realized that even with all the waiting that is happening, one..we know that it's worth the wait...and two...we are learning and growing from the experience....again.

This morning I stated to my husband of how surreal it will feel when she is home, in our arms and occupying her bedroom, adding life to our house and meeting our families, and friends, and hopefully making some of her own new friends. It simply feels like a dream of something that may or may not come. But with that..we learn. We learn about how grateful each person should be to be able to hold their baby in their arms right away. We learn about how God blesses our lives, and helps us to grow through the waiting. We learn how strong we are. We learn how much we have come through, and how we don't always have things all perfectly together, but how we will work towards that for her. We learn how everything we do right now and have done in the past even will affect us in the future with her. We learn about how there is no need to worry because things aren't in our control.

Both of us continue to recall how we felt almost two years ago when we were praying for a house to live in, and waiting for the call that we could move into our home. We never forget those cold nights in the cabin, and having to go out and gather water every weekend. That season in our lives taught us many things. And sometimes we even miss those quiet peaceful nights in a cabin, or the feeling of accomplishment every time the wood stove lit up and kept us cozy and warm.

So I know we won't forget our experience on this journey. I know we can embrace the waiting as a learning experience. I know that I will be happy to talk to my daughter some day about the benefit of waiting, and how at the end of every waiting period there is something joyous to be given. Like the anticipation we feel before a big vacation, or how we have felt as a child looking at all the sparkly gifts under the tree, the waiting was always worth while and every year that vacation eventually happened and it felt wonderful. And every year Christmas always came around and we created so many memories. You eventually forget the pain, but you never forget the experience of the wait.  Kind of like child birth... so I hear.....

ONCE WAS LOST

So here's something I'm super excited about!!!!!

We have signed up for a non-profit organization called ONCE WAS LOST. It was started by a Christian family from Canada who is also working at adopting their child from the Congo. They have included our story on their website with other families. Here is the link: 

http://waslostblog.tumblr.com/post/47367938566/tyler-and-amandas-adoption-story

You can go to the site via the link on the right hand side -->  and check out their store. Or HERE works too:

http://oncewaslost.storenvy.com/

 By purchasing something from their store and including OUR names in the note to seller box when you are checking out items, we are able to receive 50% of the purchase that you make and put that towards our adoption.  And for every $25 you spend you can feed a hungry child for a week. It's all win win if you ask me! 

There are great products and some free trade products all at reasonable prices! Check it out!!! Here are just a couple of items that they have on their page.

The Waiting game...

I know we are still in the beginning phases but we are moving along but there is more paperwork then I would have ever imagined. But even with all the paperwork and the slight hurdles that we might face along the way of this journey we are already becoming attached to our little girl.

As we wait to hear news and as our friends and family are inquisitive with questions. I wish I could be giving them more. I am awaiting the moment for the phone call that step 2 is done and step 3 is complete. Who knows how many steps there are but  eventually it will be completed. We first started on this journey being told it may only be a couple of months. And now we have been told 3 to 4 months. At that rate we believe and are praying our little girl journey's home by June. It would be a great birthday gift for my 30th birthday :)

But as we wait, we think, we plan, we feel a lot of things but nothing more then that can be done. I suppose it's likely different then when you are waiting on a pregnancy. A friend said to me, even when you are pregnant and waiting, you are still with your little one. Each passing day right now is another moment and another highlight of her life that we are missing. And even though we know where she is, she is being well taken care of and loved very much (which we are very thankful for) we want very much to be part of that as well.

How can we miss something we've never had? I don't know how we do, but we do. And every day is harder, but we will continue to wait, and we will continue to pray. As we wait we prepare. We have begun preparations in her room. We are focusing on raising funds to get her home, and we are doing a ton of reading. We want to do everything right for this little girl. We want to make our house a home for her, and we want to give her everything she needs physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I am thankful for everyone that has already supported us through this journey in so many ways already, and as we continue through the journey, I ask that you try not to forget about us. We are travelling a journey to bring our daughter home, but we are travelling a journey of preparation every day filled with some emotional roller coaster rides and some downright patience. We know it will come, and we know we are on the right path, but it often feels like a dream. One that may only become true if we are lucky.

It is hard to sit and wait. I wonder if I should be doing more of something. But as we wait, and we don't have much news to share with our friends and family, please know that those are the times when we need your prayers the most. Those are the times that Ty and I may be sitting at home in silence just waiting, just anticipating, just wondering what things will be like. Those are the times that I'm finding it difficult not to be on the phone hassling and bothering social workers all the time as they attempt to do their job. Those are the times that I'm preparing and planning for her to be here, but there are still no pattering feet, and still no little cries, and still no hugs and snuggles. We have all this love that we want to be able to give to this little girl and although our love is strong with each other, we want to give more.  It is hard for me to sit and write here and be this transparent, but I know I'm not the first to experience the "adoption birthing pains" that seem to sometimes go on forever, so therefore I want to share this for those that are wondering "what are you doing?" and "what do you need for support right now?". Those prayers still need to be heard. Please remember us as you pray.

I came across this poem in a book that spoke to me, and it may speak to others in their understanding, or maybe you have experienced this yourself, so I thought I would share.

Song of the waiting mother

I’m pregnant but my tummy isn’t growing

And no one ever calls me “Little Mom”

The public simply isn’t overflowing

With questions that I’d handle with aplomb

There are no special clothes that mark my waiting

Nobody stops and smiles as I pass by.

The absence of a due date is frustrating

And looking at the nursery makes me cry

When I’m overdue no one will worry

The phone won’t ring and ring as friends check in

I can’t induce my labor in a hurry

My new life as a parent to begin.

Adoption is a worrisome endeavor

And waiting all alone is not much fun.

To be “with child” a year seems like forever.

Dear God, we’re ready! Please send us our son.

- Christine Futia (1989)