Inpiring stuff....

Recently I have been thinking about picking up the guitar and writing..and really creating some awesome music with my husband, but for some reason have kind of been avoiding looking at a guitar or an instrument, or even singing. I don't know why. Perhaps I'm so used to just singing in church, and I've had so much on my mind that I'm scared. Both Ty and I said when we came here that we were going to do so much more writing, and creating REAL music...I love music. I Love singing. I appreciate my husband cause he has a love for the arts, and he's never taken his focus off of it..so what's wrong with me..where did all my inspiration go.

Back in university I used to write so much, maybe it's cause I was going through so much. I know that my guitar would bring me joy right now, and to write would give me so much satisfaction, so what is stopping me.

Then I saw this morning that Gungor has come out with a new album. Nothing like their last album..and I have only heard bits and pieces and I already know that I'm going to love it. And I thought..why can't we do that..why can't we write something completely unlike anything else we've written. Ty has come up with several knew sounds since we've been here, but I think I've been avoiding the music because of fear that nothing will come out right.

We have begun a new life here in Labrador City, and we are on a huge journey...why can't I take this opportunity to really begin to be inspired..where does the inspiration come from?? It comes from changes in my life, it comes from the hardship, it comes from the beauty of nature around me, and it comes from the people around me. So...what is holding me back. Well this morning, this new album and new sound, may have just given me that bit of inspiration that I need.

So if you are wondering what may inspire you this morning...check them out..they are amazing...

http://gungormusic.com/

Just some fun stuff..

This truck is absolutely ginormous!!! It's an amazing thing to think that these are driven all over the place here in order to bring the money into the city with all the mining here.

These beautiful berries were  growing all over the place close to the water. They tasted and looked like a cranberry. I want to dry them and use them as Christmas decorations. The red was so sharp.

These pictures are still in question of what it actually is. We found this spot in the woods that had this sand/rock type stuff. By the picture you would almost think it's snow..but nope, despite popular belief there's not snow here for that long. Hopefully we won't see snow until November....

Do we fear the truth??

For those of you that really know me know that really opening up about some of my thoughts and feelings can be very difficult. Perhaps that is why I became a counsellor, because I love to listen and am not always the talker. But here I am wearing out some of my emotions and thoughts for anyone to read. I feel like I'm allowing everyone to read my journal.

I've kept a journal for many many years, and it has always been so helpful, but here I am now, essentially journaling for so many people to see. It makes me slightly uncomfortable to know that people are actually reading about my life, and I'm even asking why I'm being so honest...but I thought...why aren't people being more honest about these things...I think it's just fear really. I have quite a bit of fear about even sharing some many of these honest thoughts and feelings that I've been experiencing.

Perhaps it makes some people uncomfortable. Perhaps it's difficult for you to read. Maybe you think I'm seeking attention or sympathy...which I don't feel like I want to do at all. Simply put, what I'm trying to say here is the truth without hiding behind any fears of what others may think.

Being a counsellor I listen to people vent about certain situations in their lives, and I hear the good the bad, and the ugly. I have to fight back any urge to put my two cents worth in, and just allow them to vent. There's something about venting..there's something about letting it go. And for many clients I see they have held things in for so long. They say that no one has ever really listened to them, and that no one really understands them. That I think is absolutely true!! 

Ask yourself this, you meet up with someone, and then you use the famous question: "How ya doin'?"..what would your reaction be if they REALLY started saying how they were doing that day...good or bad. 

So what am I blabbering on about?? Well....I suppose I may vent for the sake of venting here, but yes I know it is public, but it's interesting to see and hear responses from people no matter what they are. If you are not interested in hearing the truth about what I'm feeling and going through, I don't want you to feel obligated to read this. I'm not saying that I'm in such a bad situation that I don't see the blessings, and I know there may be so many other people that are going through difficult situations..but essentially what I'm trying to do here is describe the JOURNEY!!!!! A journey involves hills, valleys, turns and sometimes accidents...in order to get where we are going we need to travel along with all those challenges.I figured many people are interested in what we are doing here, and I could give the "oh great" response..which is true, but it's cookie cutter. I wanted to allow a chance for people to really read this and relate.

There are days lately when I'm exhausted from praying, and there are days when having faith seems really really hard...but I can still look back on the blessings that I've already been given, as well as the blessings that I know God has in store. God works everything together for good....even when I can't see it.

Our house hasn't sold in Moncton, and we've been bouncing from house to house here, and as inconvenient as it has been it's been amazing how people have opened themselves up to help us. They have given in ways, that Ty and I have never even thought possible. I know that we are going through these challenges to at least learn some major things, but it hasn't come without some pain. There's been no suffering no...but sacrificing of the things that we once found convenient and nice...I guess if anything that's the lesson I've already learned. Ty and I just know that we have many decisions to make, and many more things to go through..and the adventure we sought ought to achieve is apparently being fulfilled..but just difficult to handle at times.

So I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but rather just trying to be open, honest without all the "cookie cutter" answers. Maybe it will help you relate, maybe it will make you want to tell me to suck it up....

The BEAVER....

Just watched this movie shortly after the previous post was written...and it made me do some more thinking. I guess to quote what perhaps I wish I could have added in my previous post.... while everything may  not be OK, one thing is for sure, you don't have to be alone. I  tend to hate when people tell me it will all work out, and "keep your eyes on God" and "just keep praying"..although it's the encouraging words I often need..sometimes, just sometimes it's ok for someone to say.."that really sucks".. :) I know it does and at times I don't feel like everything will be ok...and sometimes I just need to think that in order to make it through to the next day..where I will likely feel more positive the next day.

But at the end of the day, it is good and positive to know that we are not alone. Not only is God with us, but we have many other people around us sending us prayers. But as well, it's awesome to know that all this journey is done with my best friend. There's nothing better then knowing that Ty is working just as hard as I am, and going through all the same things as I am. He's here with me, and for me, and that's the amazing thing that keeps me going!!

Making Sacrifices...

As friends and family, many of you have been following my blog, but also just following my facebook updates. I've been accused of bearing too much on facebook, and wearing my heart on my sleeve at times, but I've come to be just inconspicuous enough that it makes people ask questions. :) It's a gift...

Here on this blog, I want to share the stories and pictures, but the one thing pictures always do is make it seem like everything is fun and adventurous. Well several years ago when I decided that I wanted to start living out my dreams, I read a book by Erwin McManus entitled "Wide Awake"...the one thing this book taught me about is not only learning how to pursue your dreams, but the challenges that you are bound to face when trying to live them out. Well currently, as many smiles as we push through, it hasn't been without some tears and frustrations. Our faith is being challenged, and stretched..and sometimes even exhausted.


For those of you who don't know, this past week we were surprised by an opportunity, from an absolute stranger to house sit for them for 2 weeks, and after staying in a cabin for the previous 3 weeks, this was a HUGE blessing..but still a question of what next haunts mine and Ty's mind. Although we have been offered to stay at a cabin once again, we are not only experiencing anxiety in realizing that we can't live there forever, but also know that without running water, we are bound to become exhausted again.
 

For those wondering, why we don't just rent, well a bit of back story, is that the area is filled with growth, but not enough housing. And rentals are few and far between, and are going for up to $5000 a month for a house rental..and 1500 plus for an apartment (if you are lucky enough to find one).


So...our questions lie in what's next. The challenge that is haunting is.."what if??" Including what if our house doesn't sell back in Moncton?? Those two words are the 2 words that can get in the way of us pursuing our dreams. As we talked to a couple last week that invited us in for supper..I got chills through my body as he talked about some of his and the church's prayers for people to come into the community and the church. Beyond a good stable employment for Ty and I, I believe we have a bigger purpose in being here. It's difficult to not give up, and not give in to the questions of "what if" and prepare to start "heading back". My head and my heart are in constant battle to try to figure out the steps that we need to take, and the plans that we need to make, even though God in the end has his final plan for us. What is God's plan? What is our plan? How do we know that we are pursuing our dreams that God has for us, not just the dreams that we have for our lives?


So every once in a while even despite all these challenges, I experience the hope of God again, and sometimes that's just all that I need to get me through. One of the way that I have truly experienced that hope in God again, here in Labrador is through nature;

 

The other way that I have experienced God, and faith encouragement in being here is through the people. I have never known people to be more welcoming, and loving. Everyone says how friendly Newfies are but I believe that in our case it has truly been people that God is sending our way, from the first day we arrived here, and a random stranger helped us fix our car, and to now where a stranger has let us stay in his home while he is gone for 2 weeks. Also much of the encouragement I know I have been experiencing from the support of people reading this, and even seeing my facebook status. Every prayer, and every thought has been encouraging for us. And sometimes when it is exhausting, that one little piece of encouragement can be enough to help me through the next day.



I've been exhausted...we've been exhausted, and have wanted to give up already so many times, but something tells me that we can't.....I just hope it's not my pride...