I am a drinking Christian....

As I sat around a crew of people in local pub, with no pressure and with complete ease the conversation of church and God flowed easily from our mouths. It is not too often that I feel this comfortable and talk with this much comfort, and it's not too often that these conversations come up so naturally where I actually get to state what I believe and where I am coming from. Some may argue that "oh Amanda, it was probably a buzz"...but I wholeheartedly disagree. I get to ask them what they believe, why they don't go to church or why they do, and what they would look for in a safe church to express themselves if they ever had this opportunity in such a small community. This conversation will sit with me for several days. I will not let it go.

We conversed about judgement, and beliefs, evolution, science, other religions, the relevance of the Bible and the question of how is there a God when so much bad happens, and why do they should go to church, but yet how they can't help but feel there is a God watching over them in those bad times. Stuff I don't always have the answer to myself but I am able to hear them and they are able to hear me as I use my experience as examples because the walls of judgement have come down. Perhaps you don't agree with my methods, but I believe my methods work for me and for those that are around me. In moments and opportunities like this it becomes easier to believe and it's a presence of God that I feel that I don't feel in many other opportunities in my life. It is that mustard seed that I pray is being planted in their hearts as well.

Matthew 17:2020 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.Nothing will be impossible for you.”

The others tell me about how they are shocked to see me out with them. Yet my words are still positive and my attitude remains positive, and I am still in control of my choices but I feel like they see how they can share with me. If we can't meet others where they are at, then we may never be able to support them in where they can go.  And then I ask them what is their perception of the typical "christian"?  I think on my own about the fact that perhaps I am different but I am human and I am a spiritual being but I believe this opportunity was in front of me to share the depth of my belief and why I believe it and it's an opportunity that may not have come up otherwise. 

As I sit the next morning, I may be tired and exhausted from the extent of extroversion that I placed myself in, but I am focused on God's purpose for me. I wonder if God placed me there for a reason. I wonder if that was the point for me being in that place and time.

As this song comes on overhead I have a God experience again of seeing God through others eyes and again am further able to relate. This song spoke to me in a particular way that I can not only understand others but myself more and I understood why I believe the way I do, and why many others have such a hard time believing. In these moments of exploring my faith with others I feel more alive and I feel my belief growing. When I am alone and keeping my faith to myself it sometimes feels like it is easier to get filled with doubt.

So open up my eyes
Tell me I'm alive
This is never gonna go our way
If I'm gonna have to guess what's on your mind

I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
Everything you're trying to say to me  - Mumford and Sons

I often look in front of me to see my little girl, to see my marriage and to see my life and the hurting and lost people then I become eternally grateful to my God above. And then I simply pray for his grace. Somehow through all the noise, even in a busy, bombarded pub, I can still see him. That's what I pray for in being there, that through all the noise God can use me to help someone see who God really is. I don't know how things always turn out but I hope that because of that one conversation it opens up the opportunity for more.

Believing in God is one thing, but then embracing God and embracing the community of God is a whole other experience. Loving God and Loving others and feeling loved
is the purpose of why I continue to do what I do.