My #1 Parenting lesson

I'm a family counsellor. I teach people everyday about working on different parenting strategies and how to deal with behavior difficulties and challenges. I work with the families in hopes that they will reach a much more peaceful environment in their home.  I work with children individually in my office on a daily basis about working through their feelings, how to manage their big emotions, and what to do instead of acting out. So it seemed natural to me to become a parent right?

Well I've learned a big thing in the past 4 months..there's information overload out there!!!! And some of the text just does not meet your situation. Well what do you do when this happens....? Well my child is so this....? This does not apply to me because we are....??? There are always several blanks to be filled in. Then also that there is a counter thought to everything...some say Time Outs...some say NO time outs! Some say ignore..some say act immediately. It's almost like no one really knows what they are doing and just speculating on everything.

I frequently get asked...."do you have children Amanda?". I try not to get upset by this because I know the information I give people is based on research and results have been proven, but I now see that living out those things in every day life can be hard, and sometimes this whole parenting deal is trial and error. That frightens me to death. How do you know that you are doing the right thing? How do you know that the results of all this hard work are going to pay off?

Honestly, all those things that I teach people on a daily basis about parenting, and all those things I research...I do try to follow through with. I do know that the majority of them work (maybe with some tweaking to your particular situation). But honestly...there will be those days when you forget all about what the textbook tells you because it just doesn't seem to be working.

So if I was to give advice to a newer parent such as myself...I would say just keep trying. Don't ignore the information out there, but don't get down on yourself when you don't follow it to a tee!! There are gonna be days when we make mistakes, and you might have to ask for forgiveness. There are gonna be days when you react rather then respond to a situation. Does that mean your a bad parent??? Dear goodness I hope not, cause if that's the case I'm also a bad therapist and I've just lost all my clientele.

Rest easy knowing that you love your child and that you are trying your best each and every day, and just learn and remember to have fun and embrace the joyous moments. Don't take everything so serious and let loose. Use your inner child to connect with your child. I find it's the best way we can relate to them.