1. The undeniable trust that I am establishing with God
2. My little girl waking up and getting ready with no issues but being in a very happy and content mood
3. Being able to share with my husband like no one else on this earth and having him be there for me in a way no one else can. Just sitting listening and holding me.
4. That the pain that I'm feeling now will be able to end. That this is the type of ache that doesn't last forever and that miracles can still happen.
5. That our family is yet to be complete and that there are many more moments and memories that I have yet to build with my family and that I can forever hold on and embrace those moments.
This has all got me thinking about the vapor.
I am trying to embrace the moment instead of hating the moment. I am trying to stay in the here and the now instead of focusing on the what ifs. This summer as I vacationed with my family I tried to embrace every moment I had. I avoided sticking a camera in front of my face so that I could brag and post pictures about stuff that either no one else cares about or about things that don't really matter, or about things that would make others feel bad about where they were in life.
When you are going through something difficult, I always find one of the most challenging things is to not bring other people down with you, and then to see that other people are just "fine". I recluse myself when I'm facing something difficult. Yes I do, but it's not that I can't trust anyone else, it's that I am just not good at putting a mask on. So I turn to the only others that can handle my low points God and my husband. They have both seen me at my worst, and will likely continue to be the only ones. But they also help me to embrace my moments. They help me to focus on what is important. They help me realize that God and my family are really the only things that matter to me and that everything else is essentially meaningless. God brings meaning to this life. He "brings this world to life". But focusing on the little opportunities and the little moments in my life I embrace that each moment is important but at the same time it is only a speck of dust in this thing we call life and earth.
I don't know why we go through these challenges. The world is a mean place. Is God trying to teach us something? Is he trying to have us embrace the moments? Is he trying to have us realize how meaningless it is in the big picture? Is he trying to teach me to trust?
No one really gets what we are going through. But our moments in life are not going to last forever. So perhaps I need to learn from this moment. Maybe learning from this speck of dust will help me become a better person, maybe it will help me become more patient. Maybe it will help me be more determined or have more perseverance. Maybe I will be better able to help my children as I face my adversity. Maybe this will help me in the future, but I need to remember that all this moment is right now is a flick on the end of my nail.
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